05/01/24
Good morning! It’s Wednesday, May 1st.
Learn to ride a bike day!
And if you already know how to ride a bike but it’s been a while, give it a shot again. And don’t be nervous. It’s easy to relearn something. It’s just like… riding a bike.
And now, the news.
Update: North Carolina Police Shooting
-via AP News
First, there is a sad update on the Charlotte, North Carolina shooting. A fourth officer had died. Investigators are still trying to determine if everything that happened was the work of one shooter, or if there was a second shooter inside of the house.
This is the deadliest attack on law enforcement since five officers were killed in Dallas in 2016. As a reminder, that attack was over the course of a few days in the city.
Breast Cancer Screening Age Lowered
-via NPR
Some very important news – in new final guidelines from the U.S. Preventive Services Taskforce, new recommendations have lowered the age of suggested breast cancer screening from 50 to 40.
Early detection saves lives.
Go get screened.
Los Angeles Metro Collision
-via ABC News
55 people were injured in Los Angeles on Tuesday when a Metro train collided with a USC bus in Exposition Park.
Only the driver was on the USC bus, and it sounds like most of the injuries are from the Metro train passengers. Of the 55, two are in critical condition.
At this time it’s unclear what caused the crash but, just from looking at the pictures… that USC bus sure isn’t in a place where cars normally are.
As a reminder, I rode a train around the whole country so like… yeah, I am an expert actually.
No no, just kidding… an adult is going to do the investigation.
Campus Protests
-via CNN
As protests continue on campuses all over the country, Brown University protesters have reached an agreement with the university – they are disbanding their encampment, and the university has agreed to vote on divesting from companies that support Israel.
Meanwhile, Columbia students say that have “reclaimed” Hamilton Hall and will stay until the university meets their divestment demands. The university says those students now face expulsion.
So yeah… not much new here. I mean, this is a very fluid situation but on the whole – the protests are continuing, some protestors are peaceful, some are aggressively antisemitic.
Again – we can and must hold two things in our head at once. Antisemitism and the violence and deaths in Gaza both wrong.
A peaceful protest that causes inconvenience to push for change? Fine! You are well within your rights. Antisemitism? Very bad!
Feels like that’s not something I should have to say in 2024, and yet here we are – needing to say it louder and clearer than ever.
Reclassifying Marijuana
-via NBC News
In cool, man news… The Biden administration is taking steps to reclassify marijuana, easing federal restrictions on the drug for the first time in… ever!
No, not ever, but for the first time in 50 years when the Controlled Substances Act was created.
It will be reclassified from a Schedule 1 drug, up there with heroin, to Schedule 3, down there with Tylenol and steroids. This means it can now be studied to try and identify any medical benefits.
You think absolute nerds like Donald Trump and Mikey Johnson would do something like this? No way! We’ve gotta keep Biden in office, for real.
Trump Crime Update Time
And of course…
Trump Crime Update Time
(Money money money, edition)
On Tuesday, the judge in Trump’s 2016 election interference criminal crimes case finally ruled on whether Trump had violated his gag order. And it turns out – he did!
Prosecutors alleged that Trump violated his gag order 10 times, but Judge Merchan found that he’d only done it nine times.
The tenth violation was because people are gagging in the court over the smell of his toots.
No no… obviously not really! But that’s a joke about how, allegedly, Trump is tootin’ up a storm there in court and the smell is so bad that even his lawyers are having trouble dealing with it. And who’s to say if it’s true, I’m not in the courtroom, but honestly… would you be surprised? That dude eats so much overcooked McDonalds, how could it not be true?!
Anyway! Nine gag order violations, at a cool grand each in fines.
Significantly, while the Judge did write in his ruling that he was aware of Trump’s 1st Amendment right to say whatever ding dong thought is in his head (that’s the 1st Amendment, baybee. We’ve all got ding dong thoughts in our heads that get to get said.) however, he added that he will not allow “willful violations of its lawful orders” adding “if necessary and appropriate under the circumstances, it will impose an incarceratory punishment.”
More fines may come later this week, as Judge Merchan has said he will consider four more comments the prosecutors believe are also violations.
Here’s something – there were a lot of people in the courthouse on Tuesday. Eric Trump was there, because he’s a suckup. But you know who else was there? Texas AG Ken Paxton. And I don’t know much more than that, but I can tell you this much… I don’t like it. I doesn’t sit right in my tum tum.
And that’s it. That’s the news.
I’m not proud of Ken Paxton, that’s for sure. Never have been, never will be.
I am proud of bikes. I’ve had three in my adult life. All three stolen. But still, boy oh boy were they loved before they got got.
But more than that, because the only thing I’m aware you’ve stolen is my heart… I’m proud of you.