07/02/25

Good morning! It’s Wednesday, July 2nd

World UFO Day

Which I guess makes sense. It would be weird if it were only National UFO Day. Like – this UFO is just for us. But I could also see us doing that. Anyway – do you think the aliens are making fun of us? I would be.

And now, the news.

Israel/Hamas

-via AP News

Starting with the news that Trump says Israel has agreed to a 60-day ceasefire in Gaza, ahead of Monday’s visit from Prime Minister Netanyahu.

There is no word yet, as of this recording, whether Hamas will accept the terms of the ceasefire.

Hamas is prepared to release all hostages, which is a key part of any ceasefire conversations, but that would be in exchange for the Israeli government fully retreating from Gaza and ending the war, which the Israeli government will not agree to.

Alligator Alcatraz

-via NPR

Trump’s comments about the ceasefire came on via Tweet on his ironically named Truth Social, where he signed it, as he sometimes does, “Thank you for your attention to this matter!” which I only note because it is… so cheesy.

And I didn’t want to put it in that story because, you know, tonally… it didn’t feel right.

Let me tell you what’s happening right now. I’m recording this after dinner for my friend Ana’s birthday (you know Ana, she’s an A+) and at dinner I ordered a gin and tonic and someone there asked if the news would be funnier after I got a little tipsy and I’m definitely not tipsy now but I’m feeling loose, I’m very tired, I’m coming from a great night with friends… and I just want you to know that the vibe going into this episode is that I think the administration is really bad.

So I guess… actually nothing’s changed.

Trump spent Tuesday visiting what they’re calling Alligator Alcatraz, a migrant detention center in Florida’s Everglades that will start housing migrants any time now. Possibly today! They rushed to make this thing (probably because they saw El Salvador’s torture prison where, as a reminder, hundreds of Venezuelans who were kidnapped from the United States are still being kept) and they were like… okay, but now let’s add alligators!

So Trump toured that, noting, "I thought this was so professional, so well done.”

Yes, as the peak of professionalism, your stamp of approval means the world.

When asked if the idea was that if someone tries to escape they’ll be eaten by an alligator (first of all… weird question!) Trump’s response was: "I guess that's the concept."

Uh oh!

Don’t worry, he also said: “We're going to teach them how to run away from an alligator.”

And that doesn’t even cover the oppressive heat and humidity that the tents they’ll be staying in will do nothing to help people stay, you know, alive in.

Looking for a way that this can be worse? More gross? I gotcha covered – they are selling merch!

Hey, if you’re migrant detention center is selling merch… it’s probably bad.

Just… thought you should know about what’s happening there.

Federal Judge Blocks HHS Layoffs

-via CBS News

A federal judge has blocked the Department of Health and Human Services from their plan to lay off about 10,000 employees as well as reorganize how the rest of the department does its work, moving most to a new department that he wants to create called the Administration for a Healthy America.

However, a federal judge has ruled that there is “no rational basis” for a reorganization that would have “devastating consequences” nationwide.

The crux of the ruling is that he did so without Congressional approval.

Which is, you know, their move. Kind of their only move, if you think about it. Which is wild! Because like… Congress will do what they want. I guess I don’t want to give them any tips (obviously they listen. This podcast is wildly popular in Congress.) but… Congress kind of does whatever Trump wants. Just wait until you hear the next story.

Anyway, in her ruling, Judge DuBose wrote: "The Executive Branch does not have the authority to order, organize, or implement wholesale changes to the structure and function of the agencies created by Congress."

Which we can only hope everyone else tattoos to the inside of their brains.

Not to worry, RFK Jr. is already hard at work on his next move. What if we just get rid of all medical. Not medicine. Medical.

Big Beautiful Bill

-via Washington Post, The Hill, and NBC News

The Big Beautiful Bill (regretfully still the real name) has passed the Senate and, as of this recording, is now sitting in the House for a vote. If there is even one change, literally one comma moved, it will need to go back to the Senate to be voted on again.

It was tied in the Senate, with JD Vance casting the tie-breaking vote.

I’m sure he was very proud.

Lisa Murkowski, who was a maybe, ended up voting for it but then said she didn’t like it. Which is so funny and classic. Like… you know you can vote against it, right? That thing that helps you when you walk and sit is called a spine. Metaphorically, you can use it in situations like this.

Hey, by the way, if you’re interested… you can check out my Instagram or TikTok (ew, so sorry for the shameless plug but that’s where the video is) to see the full breakdown but not only does this bill kick 12 million people off Medicaid and 3 million people off SNAP benefits, it also adds $100 million to budget to defund Planned Parenthood, a move that will add between 3,427 and 3,447 more deaths in just one year. They’re adding to the deficit to do it!

The bill originally added $800 million to the deficit when it left the House. It returns to the House adding $3.3 trillion to the deficit, to which Speaker Johnson responded that it, “went a little further than many of us would have preferred,” but said he’s still “get that bill over the line.”

Omg… this dude will do anything for Trump. That’s literally more than 4 times the size!

It’s future in the House is very unknowable. I mean… Speaker Johnson is, as we know, terrible at his job but there are deals to be made so we’ll see. But like I said – if there are any changes it needs to go back to the Senate to be voted on again.

We’ll see what the day brings.

Trump and Musk are still fighting about the bill, so we can all at least laugh at that. On Tuesday, Trump said maybe DOGE, the thing that isn’t a department but was created by Elon to find government waste (but didn’t actually), is going to look at Musk. And if DOGE looks at Musk, we’re going to save a fortune.”

He also said, when asked if Musk could get deported (again, who is asking these questions!) Trump said, “I think we’ll have to take a look.”

Kiiiiiisssssss.

Listen… let them fight (or kiss) – maybe! Or maybe they did and that’s what happened. Who knows. But listen, I will never ever stick up for Musk. He sucks on face value, and it’s a family thing. It’s personal. Those who know, know – this family will never like or forgive him. He knows what he did.

But he is a US citizen. We’re not doing this.

Sean Combs Case

-via CNN

And just a quick note about the Sean Combs case – on Tuesday, the jury sent a note to the judge saying that they have reached a verdict on the counts of sex trafficking and transportation to engage in prostitution, but were unable to reach a verdict on the RICO charge, saying, “We have jurors with unpersuadable opinions on both sides.”

The judge told the jurors to continue deliberating.

Just mentioning that because there were a bunch of breaking news headlines that a verdict had been reached and then no verdict was announced… that’s because the jurors were sent back.

So in theory yes, I guess a verdict has been reached but the jurors went back to deliberate so… nothing really yet.

And that’s it. That’s the news.

Hey, I don’t mean to keep you on the edge of your seat or anything, but none of these stories were the stories that I talked about yesterday were I was like this is the one that’s gonna make me lose it.

Check back tomorrow.

I’m proud of… UFOs, I guess.

Sure, why not.

But more than that, more than an unidentified flying object, because I’ve identified that you… are out of this world… I’m proud of you.