09/16/25
Good morning! It’s Tuesday, September 16th.
National Anne Bradstreet Day.
Anna Bradstreet, who died on September 16th 1672 (I was just a teenager!) was the first published American poet.
A woman! The first American poet!
Women truly can do anything (except be president or make decisions about our bodies). Incredible.
And now, the news.
Netanyahu Promises More Strikes
-via BBC
At a press conference in Jerusalem, Israeli Prime Minister Netanyahu said that every country had a right "to defend itself beyond its borders".
And he said this while standing right next to Secretary of State Marco Rubio. Who just… said nothing in return.
Israel just attacked Hamas on Qatar, which is a US-ally and the Prime Minister not only said it was fine to strike other countries in defense, even when those countries are neutral in all of this (which Qatar has been – hence why they have been the main location of these peace talks) but he also refused to rule out further strikes.
And Rubio just stood there.
Neither answered questions about the strikes.
Over the weekend, the Israeli military continued on with their work of leveling residential buildings in Gaza City and will next begin ground operations in the Western neighborhoods. Israeli officials are still urging residents of Gaza to move south but those in Gaza say it’s too expensive (could you afford to, right now, just pick up and move away to the other side of the country overnight? Right this very second?) or (but also probably and) just as dangerous, since there have been airstrikes in southern Gaza as well.
…and Marco Rubio just stands there.
North Korea’s Missile Update
-via ABC News
And moving to North Korea – on Monday, officials at the North Korea Permanent Mission to the UN announced: "The position of the Democratic People's Republic of Korea as a nuclear weapons state which has been permanently specified in the supreme and basic law of the state has become irreversible."
Uh oh!
Not uh… sure what else to say here about this one. Just good to keep an eye on, I guess.
Good thing we have such calm and level-headed leadership at the top seats of government so we don’t have to worry about our country’s relationship with North Korea!
Man Charged with Murder After Hitting Teen with Car
-via ABC News
And then I’ve got this particularly gross story out of Queens New York, so I’m very sorry ahead of time – but a 38-year-old was charged with murder, attempted murder, assault, vehicular manslaughter and "other crimes" for intentionally driving his car at four people, including a 16-year-old girl and his mother, after he offered them money for sex at a restaurant.
The teen’s boyfriend and stepfather then argued with the man, who got into his car and rammed into them, pinning the teen girl against a pole before fleeing on foot.
But how did police catch him, you may be wondering?
He approached ununiformed NYPD officers a few blocks away, said he’d been assaulted, and went ahead and led them right back to the scene of the crime.
You’ll be shocked to hear his blood alcohol content was .137%
He is facing 25 to life.
The audacity of men, ya know?
Maurene Comey Fights Back
-via NBC News
Earlier this year, as you may recall, Maurene Comey, daughter of James Comey, was fired from her job as a federal prosecutor without cause, notice, or the chance to contest her case.
But now – she’s fighting back!
On Monday she filed suit that basically says: the President fired because me because he hates my pops.
She is seeking reinstatement and backpay. Get your bag!
After she was fired, she sent a letter to her colleagues saying, “If a career prosecutor can be fired without reason, fear may seep into the decisions of those who remain. Do not let that happen. Fear is the tool of a tyrant, wielded to suppress independent thought.”
So her firing was never going to be the actual end for her but still – if people don’t fight back, then what?
Because my brain is fair beyond repair, I can’t possibly finish this story without this joke:
When asked for comment on why Trump fired her without cause he said: I have cause, it’s because I hate her dad. And also because she was mean about my best friend!
Comey also prosecuted Epstein and Maxwell (as well as Diddy).
Venezuelan Drug Boat Bombed (Again)
-via NY Times
On Monday a second Venezuelan boat, which the Trump administration claims to have been a drug-smuggling boat, was destroyed in international waters, killing three people.
This comes on the heels of a NY Times report that shows the first boat, where 11 people were killed, appears to have been turning around at the time of the bombing.
And here’s the thing: okay, so you want to stop drugs from coming into America. That’s great. That’s what we all want. I fully support that. But do you really think the ringleaders are on these boats? No! They’re fairly low on the food chain here.
Why not wait for them to come to America, arrest them, and then try to get information about the people running these drug rings?
Should I be president? Why am I better at this than them? (I can’t be president. I’m too busy doing this podcast and listening to Kelly Clarkson cover songs and talking about how Mandy Moore is going to get an EGOT and why I always knew Ted Lasso would have a season 4. Frankly, you’re lucky I even have time for this podcast!).
Anyway, as the original boat bombing was, this is probably a violation of international human rights and maritime law.
When asked for proof that this boat was, actually, full of drug carriers, Trump said: “All you have to do is look at the cargo that was scattered all over the ocean.”
So… does that mean it’s still there? Did the cargo open? Did the drugs leak into the ocean? Or is the cargo labeled “drugs”?
Memphis Task Force
-via AP News, CBS News, and NY Times
Let’s talk hostile government takeover! See, if I say it with an up voice, it’s less scary!
Last week Trump’s federalization of DC’s police force expired, so on Monday he threatened to do it again if the city doesn’t work with ICE. However, his comments were in a classic early morning tweet-a-thon and the White House hasn’t officially commented so who’s to say.
What we do know for sure is that the next place for hostile government takeover is Memphis. Because the invisible president of Union Railroads told Trump told him to do it in a dream or something like that…
Speaking from the Oval Office on Monday, Trump announced that this task force would include… the Department of the Treasury; the Department of Defense (he said war but because I’ve been outside and touched grass within the last 24 hours I’m not calling it that); the Department of Justice; the Department of Health and Human Services; the Department of Housing and Urban Development; the Department of Transportation; Homeland Security; the US Marshals; the FBI; the ATF; the DEA; Homeland Security; and the US Attorney’s Office for the Western District of Tennessee.
And that’s it. But probably only because there’s no one else to send.
This was not requested by the mayor of Memphis or Shelby County though, trickily, Tennessee’s Governor Lee did request the National Guard and some federal assistance.
And of course, he couldn’t get away without a classic threat about protests: “I say, when they spit, you hit it. Do whatever you want. You do whatever the hell you want.”
And then he added and now if you’ll excuse me, I’m late to give another lecture about how the democrats need to tone down their language.
He also turned the mic over to Mr. 100 Million Americans Stephen Miller who, after Trump said he was 100% willing to label Antifa a terrorist group, promised that “Whether you are antifa, whether you’re a domestic terrorist, whether you are a violent gang member, a drug trafficker,” Trump will use the military and federal law enforcement “to wipe you out, to put you behind bars.”
Antifa is not a formal group. It is best described as… a vibe? The word comes from anti-fascism. Which all of America used to be.
But if you think about who Stephen Miller and Trump are, it does make sense that they would be anti, anti-fascism.
And this of course all came on the same day that JD Vance hosted Charlie Kirk’s podcast in his honor.
Can I tell you something? This podcast is fairly short (I know they’ve been long lately, I’m sorry! Talk to the president. Tell him to stop doing hostile government takeover and we can get these bad boys back down to little shorties) and it still takes a long time to make them! The fact that all of these elected officials are just out here making podcasts should, frankly, appall you.
Also appalling? Although Kirk’s assassin’s politics were very clearly far, far, far right, Vance spent the show railing against what he called left-wing extremism.
Saying: the "incredibly destructive movement of left-wing extremism that has grown up over the last few years, and I believe, is part of the reason why Charlie was killed by an assassin's bullet." Mr. 100 Million Americans was also on the show and said, "we are going to channel all of the anger that we have over the organized campaign that led to this assassination, to uproot and dismantle these terrorist networks." Adding, "We are going to use every resource we have at the Department of Justice, Homeland Security and throughout this government to identify, disrupt, dismantle and destroy these networks and make America safe again for the American people, it will happen, and we will do it in Charlie's name.”
Vance also said he’s heard "many calls in the last few days for unity, and for healing" and said, "you have no idea how desperately I want that." But first, I guess he needs to invent a boogeyman to blame, without trying to solve the actual problem.
Good stuff!
And that’s it. That’s the news.
I’m proud of Anne Bradstreet. Poems in general, really but lady poets specifically. Let more ladies be poets.
But more than Anne Bradstreet, because you are walking poetry, just out here rhyming in words or even when you’re not rhyming it looks like you probably could if you wanted… I’m proud of you.