01/22/26
Good morning! It’s Thursday, January 22nd.
Answering your cat’s question day.
And now, the news.
Davos
Reporting live from Switzerland (and boy are my arms tired… I hate it here) – Trump announced on Wednesday that he is not following through on his threats to impose tariffs on eight European allies over their opposition to his calling dibs on Greenland.
Why?
Well apparently the Greenland thing is… figured out? Kind of?
During a meeting with NATO Secretary-General Mark Rutte, Trump claimed to have found a solution that gives him everything he needs. Well, he said “us” but like… don’t bring me into this, dude! I don’t want to be a part of this!
Following that, he took to his ironically-named Truth Social to say: "We have formed the framework of a future deal with respect to Greenland and, in fact, the entire Arctic Region. This solution, if consummated, will be a great one for the United States of America, and all NATO Nations."
Ew. Don’t say consummated. You weirdo.
Also, why do I feel like this deal is that Greenland stays Greenland and we get to look at it on a map sometimes?
He’s not a good dealmaker! (To be clear… if that’s what the deal is, that’s great. Best possible solution.)
So… who knows. Details of the deal are TBD though we do know: "Additional discussions are being held concerning The Golden Dome as it pertains to Greenland. Further information will be made available as discussions progress."
That’s what Trump said. I’m not sure if that means they’re getting a Golden Dome too or they’re going to be allowed access to, like, be under the protection of ours… I’m not sure.
I assume he’s not either.
Though to note, although this deal may have come from a meeting with NATO, one of the two Greenlandic members of the Danish parliament has already rejected Trump’s comments on the deal. Saying: “What we are witnessing these days in statements from Trump is completely absurd. NATO has absolutely no mandate to negotiate anything whatsoever without us in Greenland.”
Prior to this announcement, Trump took to stage and made his Davos speech. What did he say about owning Greenland there? It’s “a very small ask.”
That is the funniest thing to me!
Aw, come on! It’s just your country! “A very small ask.” No bigger than borrowing salt.
He then went on to insult every country while on stage, saying “Without us, most of the countries don’t even work.” He said it generally and then specifically about Switzerland, where he literally was speaking.
He was racist against the entire country of Somalia (I’m not even going to repeat what he said), complained about Jerome Powell, and even said: “Canada lives because of the United States.”
What on earth?
Canada lives because of maple syrup and manners.
Anyway, so that was the president’s speech. Not great! We’ll see what comes of this Greenland deal framework.
I’ll keep you updated.
Epstein and the House
-via BBC, Democracy Docket, and NPR
Hey, we haven’t talked about the Epstein files in a while! That was a nice break.
Remember at the end of last year when the House and Senate all agreed that the DOJ needed to release the files and the DOJ was like “oh don’t you worry! We want to! Thank you for suggesting that, actually! I’m so happy you did because finally we get to do this now!”
Well now they’re not into that at all.
How the turntables…
I am shocked, I tell you. Shocked.
But while Trump threatens to invade Greenland in hopes of distracting us from these files, the House Oversight Committee is bringing Ghislaine Maxwell in (virtually) for questioning on February 9th.
Important context here: previously, Maxwell’s team said she would only answer questions if she was granted legal immunity.
So… was she granted immunity?? Or will she just plead the 5th the whole time?
Or both? James Comer, the chair of the committee, has said that her lawyers are saying she’ll just plead the 5th the entire time.
Who else may plead the 5th?
The Clintons!
Yes, on Wednesday, the House Oversight Committee voted to hold the Clintons in contempt for denying their congressional subpoenas last week.
For their part, the Clintons call the subpoenas invalid, saying they’ve already given what “little” information they know.
Look, here’s the deal… anyone who has any information at all needs to sit down and say every single thing. Literally everything.
Now, given how much this DOJ and administration abhor democrats in general, and the Clintons specifically, my hunch is that if there was anything in those files that implicated the Clintons, we’d have heard about it approximately 700k times by now.
So obviously this is political theater more than anything else.
How do we know? Because they haven’t bothered to bring any charges, or literally do anything at all, about the fact that the DOJ has only released .6% of the Epstein files.
This is literally a law! The Epstein Files Transparency Act requires AG Bondi to release “all unclassified records, documents, communications, and investigative materials” by Dec. 19. It’s well-past that date now, babe.
So okay, bring the Clintons in. But where is Trump? Where is Bondi? Where is your anger that these survivors have been so brave, and risked so much, and you are… what? Protecting the president and his buddies, who very obviously did something so terrible, so incredibly horrific, that you will do everything you can to make sure these files never see the light of day?
Great job.
ICE’s New Power
-via AP News
Before I go onto this next story, I want to remind you that when Hitler was designing the Holocaust, he actually got his ideas from Jim Crow segregation here in America. But some nazi lawyers found some aspects of our Jim Crow laws to be too intense for them.
Too intense for the holocaust.
Anyway, let’s check in on ICE!
According to an internal ICE memo, obtained by the Associated Press, ICE officers are now entering homes without a judge’s warrant. Why? They are authorized by the memo!
“Although the U.S. Department of Homeland Security (DHS) has not historically relied on administrative warrants alone to arrest aliens subject to final orders of removal in their place of residence, the DHS Office of the General Counsel has recently determined that the U.S. Constitution, the Immigration and Nationality Act, and the immigration regulations do not prohibit relying on administrative warrants for this purpose.”
Administrative warrants and judicial warrants are very different.
Judicial requires a judge to agree that the need for an officer to enter a space has passed a high judicial review, including the Fourth Amendment’s protection from unreasonable government searches and seizures.
The 4th Amendment is pretty short: “The right of the people to be secure in their persons, houses, papers, and effects, against unreasonable searches and seizures, shall not be violated, and no Warrants shall issue, but upon probable cause, supported by Oath or affirmation, and particularly describing the place to be searched, and the persons or things to be seized.”
But tucked into that little guy is the Reasonableness Clause: “The right of the people to be secure…” Which establishes that searches and seizures are actually presumed to be unreasonable unless they meet constitutional standards. Your home is given maximum protection and so the burden is on the government to provide a reason to come in, not you, as the individual, to provide a reason to stay out.
There’s also The Warrant Clause: “And no Warrants shall issue, but upon probable cause…”
The Fourth Amendment sets four non-negotiable requirements for a valid warrant:
1. Issued by a Neutral and Detached Magistrate (meaning a judge, not the executive branch, and not a member of law enforcement)
2. Probable Cause aka “upon probable cause” (There must be specific facts showing a crime likely occurred or is occurring. These facts have to be evaluated by a judge, not an agency. And no, suspicion, policy goals, or convenience do not qualify.)
3. Oath or Affirmation “supported by Oath or affirmation” (Someone has to swear under penalty of perjury that the facts are true.
4. Particularity “particularly describing the place to be searched, and the persons or things to be seized” (So no broad authority, no “anyone we can find,” no “just go to Home Depot because I’m Stephen Miller and I’m disgustingly racist.)
The Constitution is clear.
And free! Literally anyone can get a copy. I have multiple.
So when these blue lives matter, flag-humping, no but I love the constitution, morons start talking about how these administration warrants are no different just because it’s in a memo… a lot of things are in memos! Anyone can make a memo!
What if I made a memo for you to go fffffffind yourself? Would ya?
Idiots.
Uvalde Ruling
-via CNN
And in Texas - former Uvalde Consolidated Independent School District police officer Adrian Gonzales has been found not guilty (I’m not kidding, I had to read that like 5 times to make sure I was reading it right, but yeah – not guilty) of 29 counts of child endangerment or abandonment in the 2022 shooting at Robb Elementary in Uvalde, Texas, which left 19 children and two teachers dead.
His defense was that he didn’t see the gunman enter the building.
Okay, but once he was in there it took 77 minutes for officers to confront and kill the shooter.
77 minutes.
In that time, the gunman fired off 117 rounds.
Not guilty.
Gonzalez, and frankly that whole jury, are also going to get my go ffffffffffind yourself memo too.
And that’s it. That’s the news.
I don’t know if I’ve ever made this clear before but like… the Constitution is really fascinating. Would be cooler if women were in it, that’s for sure. Still though.
I’m proud of Ruth! She’s so happy that this episode is done so that she can bother me while I edit it. She has a lot of questions about things in this episode. Starting with… how dare everyone?
But more than the Founders. Because you know about personal hygiene and aren’t a very complicated history figure… I’m proud of you.