Title
Being a Big Ol’ L Himself
Good morning! It’s Tuesday, October 27th
National American Beer Day
See now THIS is what I’m talking about. This is why holidays were invented. This is why it’s so important to remember our past and do what we can to celebrate this country!
And now, the news.
Convict on the Run
-via ABC News
Starting with “okay well whose day was it to watch him” news.
28-year-old Jacon Morley, who is supposed to be serving life in prison for, among other things, murder and aggravated burglary, escaped from his Tennessee prison on Monday.
After he was unaccounted for during a check, authorities began their search. When they looked at the security footage, they saw that he’d breathed the outside fence and made a run for it.
And again, I must ask… whose day was it to watch him? Do they have cameras and those big ol towers where people look down? What happened, the binocs were locked up and the person with the key was gone? (That’s a Titanic reference. That really happened… they were locked up and Second Officer David Blair accidentally took the key home with him because the crew had a little shuffleabout right before the ship left the harbor.
Morley is considered dangerous. He’s 5’ 11” tall (but you just KNOW he tells people he’s 6’ 2”), weighs 240 pounds, and has green eyes and brown hair that looks red, to me at least, in some of the photos.
If you see him, obviously don’t approach! Call 911.
Hey, are you a convicted murderer on the run who authorities believe to be a danger to society? Cause you’re the only 10 I see.
Comey Charged Again
And then moving to “third time probably won’t be the charm for you” and also “I promise not to start every story this way” news…
After already failing twice, the Department of Justice announced new federal charges against James Comey on Monday. In this new and improved charge, they allege that, in October of 2016, Comey, in his position as the FBI director, directed the disclosure of national defense information to a reporter through one or more co-conspirators.
So basically what they’re talking about is that in early October 2016 (the good old days! Remember how they were so bad and yet, in retrospect, actually much better than now?) there was an article in the Times describing how a system that was meant to scan emails for child pornography and spam (really sucks that we need that!) was used by Yahoo to help satisfy a secret court order that required the company to search for messages that contained a computer “signature” that was tied to the communications of a state-sponsored terrorist organization.
The article noted that the DOJ got an order from the Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Court and Yahoo wasn’t allowed to talk about it.
What am I saying? Of course you remember this article! We all totally paid attention then…
(JK… Comey had the nation’s attention in other, more devastating for democracy, types of ways.)
Well now the DOJ says that the only reason the Times article came out is because Comey “sought to correct misinformation which had appeared in the press by way of Reuters the day before.” They say their investigation “uncovered evidence that Mr. Comey directed staff to speak to” the Times “about specific accuracy concerns related to the Reuters article, and thereby illegally transferred classified information.”
Coupla things… what??
And also… get over it.
And finally… it’s actually past the statute of limitations (they’re talking about something that happened October 4th and 5th) so who knows if this will even go anywhere.
Still though, I think the most important thing to consider when talking about this is… how embarrassing for the DOJ that they just do whatever Trump wants and what his soup brain wants, is… this.
By the way, the timing is interesting because, also on Monday, a judge ruled that James’ daughter, Maurene Comey, was in fact fired from her position as a federal prosecutor in Manhattan simply because she was a Comey.
Well, probably also because she prosecuted Epstein and Ghislaine and you certainly can’t be doing that when Trump, a close personal friend to both of those child sex traffickers, is in the Epstein files and will do anything stop people from looking further into those crimes and his possible involvement.
I mean, hello – he started a war about it! You think he wouldn’t also do some illegal firings?
Brazil’s Election Results
-via Reuters
Moving on to international elections! In yesterday’s episode, we talked about Serbia dropping their autocratic president who wanted to be a prime minister.
Well at the time that was happened, Brazilians were also headed out to go vote. Their choices were leftist incumbent Luiz Inacio Lula da Silva and right-winger Flavio (FLEH-vee-oh) Bolsonaro.
If the name Bolsonaro sounds familiar, it’s because he’s the son of former President Jair (zh-ay-ear) Bolsonaro. For his four years in office, the former president was widely criticized for his right-wing populism, anti-LGBTQ+ and misogynistic statements, praise for the country’s previous military dictatorship, and COVID-19 disinformation.
Again I have to ask… sound familiar?
How about this? On January 8th, 2022, just two years and two days after Trump incited an insurrection, Bolsonaro first conspired with military and intelligence officials to overturn the election results and block the transfer of power. When that didn’t work, he incited his supporters to storm the National Congress, Supreme Court, and presidential palace.
Now here’s the difference: he was convicted by the Supreme Court of Brazil and sentenced to 27 years and 3 months in prison for leading a military coup plot, conspiring to assassinate the elected president, and inciting the January 8 riot.
Yeah… turns out former presidents can be convicted of crimes and sent to jail. Who knew? Not Mitch McConnell, that’s for sure. (don’t bother to try and tell him now… who knows if he can even hear you from wherever he is. Seriously – where is he?)
Anyway, Bolsonaro One is in jail and unable to serve again so Bolsonaro Two was like “I’ll run in your name!” and he lost too now.
Because voters don’t want that.
And so they voted against it.
I’m not saying it’s a fix-all. I’m not saying it’s easy, depending on where you live, but I’m saying… these voters voted and decided they didn’t want to return to the old ways because they weren’t working for him.
We can do that too!
7 Days
-via CBS News, AP News, ABC News, and NBC News
And we can! I promise you we can!
Trump got handed multiple Ls today (the Maurene Comey thing counts as an L for him… he’s used to the Ls, being a big ol L himself).
One of them is a win for his bank account but an L in the public eye, as a new report by Democrats on the Congressional Joint Economic Committee let it be known that, as gas prices continue to skyrocket for you and me, the stocks he holds have increased in value by an average of 43% since the end of 2025. Additionally, it turns out that the president purchased between $4.7 million and $17.5 million in oil and gas stocks between March, after the war began, and the end of August (maybe after as well, but the info only goes through August). But what are stocks if not something that you also sell for money? Dude also sold between $2 million and $5.4 million in oil and gas stocks in the same timeframe he as buying.
As least someone’s making money.
Isn’t that great? Aren’t you so happy that he’s making more money as we continue to get screwed?
Fear not, he’s not the only one. As he told a group in Georgia on Saturday night: “The United States oil and gas business is making hundreds of billions of dollars. … Our country is making hundreds of billions of dollars because of what's happened in the Middle East."
Would love to see it for myself.
(Actually would just love the war to stop, but that’s just me.)
And then the other loss in California where a judge, unsurprisingly, ruled that the administration can’t block the counting of 20,000 ballots from registered voters in the state. Two important things here. One: obviously that this happened. All voters deserve to have their voices heard. I might disagree vehemently with your vote, but I will always support your right to cast it.
But I think the judge’s ruling here is important as well, saying that the federal government
“asks the federal court to dictate to a state legislature a matter squarely within the state’s traditional domain, upending the state’s policies in this regard and inviting disorder and confusion for voters and election officials alike.”
Because that’s what this is. Trump and the Republican Party spent all of this time trying to make themselves richer, and now, instead of working to earn the votes of their constituents, they’re trying to cheat their way through this election.
But the fact of the matter is, and I know this is a tough one for the party of small government to wrap their noggins around… states decide their own election laws and procedures. Not the federal government.
And I think the language in the ruling will matter for future rulings. Because of course they’ll continue to try this. For example, they already announced 400 voters in Washington that they want to pull aside. But that language in the ruling is going to make their election mucking about that much harder.
Now he’s even offering up $1M “upon the arrest and conviction of those that created” a fraudulent vote.
Two things. One, now I’m not going to run through the math again but fraud by voters occurs at such a wildly small rate that it has never affected any election’s outcome ever. Ever.
But two… does doing an insurrection count as fraud? What about the fact that, in 2019 Trump first submitted a Florida voter-registration application that listed the White House as his legal residence. Not many people know this, but the White House is actually in Washington DC. Florida requires voters to be state residents.
Trump then submitted a corrected application using his Florida address.
But… didn’t you say you live at the White House? Because of how, tragically, you’re the president. Not an illegal vote but not a legal application (in general, I’d argue, but for sure not at first).
Because if I can get that dude convicted for something, I’d be a hero AND I’d have a million dollars. Both would be super cool. One of them would buy me so many Superman comic books.
Anyway, the point is… Trump is super corrupt and in SEVEN DAYS we’re going to hand him a beautiful set of consequences for actions in the form of taking back the House and Senate.
And that’s it. That’s the news.
Seven days.
Hand me an American beer and let’s get ready.
I’m proud of you.