03/17/26

Good morning! It’s St. Patrick’s Day!

Oh matey! Or I guess… No accent would have been better.

Here’s what I learned for you (you’re welcome)… the reason they started dying the Chicago river green is because, in 1961 a business manager of the local 130 union for plumbers was talking to a union member whose overalls had been dyed green by the pollution in the river.

And instead of being like “uh oh! That’s really bad! We gotta find a way to get the poison outta that river cause that green’s probably in your lungs now” he was like… we gotta make this bad boy green once a year… and he was never pinched again.

And now, the news.

Cuba

-via AP News

Starting in Cuba, where the much-anticipated blackout arrived on Monday, cutting power for the 11 million or so people on the island. This is the third major blackout in the last three months. 

Now, part of the problem is Cuba's power grid. It’s old. 

But a bigger issue is that Trump has promised tariffs against any country that sells or gives oil to Cuba. And the only way that Cuba can have their sanctions lifted is if they release political prisoners or, you know… what about a “friendly takeover” by the United States?

On Monday, with the power outage going on, Trump said he thinks he’ll probably have the “honor of taking Cuba.” Calling it a “very weakened nation” and adding: “I mean, whether I free it, take it. I think I could do anything I want with it.”

As of Monday night, 2% of the power was back on for residents and a few hospitals. 

Iran

-via CNN

And moving to Iran… as the Strait of Hormuz stays closed, Trump said multiple countries have told him they’re on the way to help escort tankers through the Strait.

Which countries? You don’t know them. They go to a different school. 

He says he’ll provide the list at a later date but apparently they’re already coming. It just takes a while to get there. 

In this same set of comments on Monday, Trump talked about US allies who haven’t jumped into this conflict yet, whether through actually jumping in or just by escorting tankers through the Strait, saying he’d always known they wouldn’t do it: “I’ve been a big critic of all of the protecting of countries because I know that we’ll protect them. And if we ever needed help, they won’t be there for us. I’ve just known that for a long period of time.”

Poor little rich boy. None of the countries want to play war with him.

In other imaginations conversations: Trump twice claimed on Monday that former presidents, plural, were praising him for what he’s doing in Iran. Saying they were telling him, “I wish I did what you did.” There are four living former presidents. None of them, according to aides, shows a recording of them having spoken to Trump. 

He truly cannot tell the truth at all about anything.

Super cool thing for a president, that’s for sure.

SCOTUS v Deportations

-via CBS News

On Monday, the Supremes announced that they will consider Trump’s efforts to yank the Temporary Protected Status for hundreds of thousands of immigrants from Syria and Haiti.

They will not allow the program to end while it hears the case, which the Department of Justice asked them to do. 

The court also announced they’ll hear arguments on the legality of Trump’s plan to end birthright citizenship.

Expect decisions at the end of June or early July, but it’s usually the arguments that tell us how things are going to go. 

Arguments for birthright are set for April 1st, while the TPS arguments are set for late April.

RFK Jr Gets a No

-via The Guardian

But while we all hold our breath when it comes to the Supreme Court, a federal court judge has reminded us that those courts still work… The Advisory Committee on Immunization Practices (ACIP) has had its membership invalidated by a federal judge, which also called January’s changes to routine US immunization recommendations “arbitrary and capricious” and therefore blocked.

Hey man… cry to your bird friends about it but science beats dead whale head every single time.

And that’s why that old saying exists.

Susie Wiles Diagnosis

-via Washington Post

Trump’s Chief of Staff Susie Wiles announced on Monday that she has been diagnosed with early-stage breast cancer.

And here’s what I have to say about this… early detection saves lives.

Politics aside, please – go get tested. It sounds like she’s got a great prognosis and that’s because she was able to get an early diagnosis.

And listen, politics not aside, yes she is a big part of an administration actively working to make sure that she has access to something no one else does. That can’t be ignored. 

Can’t not say it.

But again… early detection saves lives.

So go get tested. 

And I don’t know… hope that this experience leads her to realize everyone deserves access to the same medical services that she does.

That’s it. That’s the news.

Hey, Tig’s Come See Me in the Good Light didn’t win the Oscar on Sunday. But it’s streaming on AppleTV and like – it doesn’t need me to promote it. It’s fine. It was nominated for an Oscar. But I really loved it. And especially coming off of that last story. Plus, anyone who knows me in real life knows how much cancer shaped the lives of my family and me. 

Everything is so heavy! But watching this woman fall so deeply and magically in love with life, at the end of hers… an Oscar would have been cool. And I’m not even saying this because I’m incredibly biased but the Oscar would have been the bonus to the gift of this movie just existing in general. 

And so I’m proud of Andrea Gibson. And Tig Notaro. And Aunt Fran.

But more than… nope! Not gonna trick me!

You know who I’m proud of? People who don’t pinch people not wearing green on St. Patrick’s Day. Just be cool dude. It’s fine. They didn’t wear green. We don’t need to be pinching people. Frankly, in general.

But more than not pinching people, because the only mark you’ve ever left, is on my heart… I’m proud of you.