03/20/26
Good morning! It’s Friday, March 20th
International Day of Happiness!
A whole day for it! (But only one, okay?)
And now, the news.
Iran
Starting in Iran, where, on Thursday, Pete Hegseth said the US would hit Iran with the "largest strike package yet,” in retaliation for Israel striking an Iranian gas field and Iran retaliating with a strike on the world's largest liquefied natural gas terminal.
Retaliation because Iran retaliated.
What if, hear me out, no one needed to retaliate because no one did the thing that needed retaliating against? Wouldn’t that be something?
Speaking of the Israeli strike – on Thursday, Trump said he complained to Netanyahu about the strike, saying he told him not to do that.
But uh oh, Netanyahu says he was told about the strike ahead of time.
Who are you going to believe? The guy doing genocide, or the guy with the hand bruise, he says isn’t there, and also is there, but it’s from shaking hands?
Those comments came from a meeting with the press, where he also answered a reporter’s question about whether Trump had plans to put troops on the ground in Iran. His answer?
“I’m not putting troops anywhere. If I were, I certainly wouldn’t tell you.”
First – anywhere? You’re not putting them anywhere? That’s a lie! You’re putting them all over this country!
Also… If I were, I certainly wouldn’t tell you? Trump is both the oldest president we’ve ever had and perpetually 7 years old.
Significant bummer.
He also… I can’t even believe this next part. So all of that press coverage happened because he was meeting with Japan’s Prime Minister, Sanae Takaichi.
And in this meeting, while talking about the surprise attack on Iran, he said: “We didn’t tell anyone about it because we wanted a surprise. Who knows better about surprise than Japan?” and then he turned to Takaichi and said: “Why didn’t you tell me about Pearl Harbor?”
Tactless! He is tactless!
Especially because he added, “and why didn’t you tell me about Josh Harnett?”
Trump and the National Guard
-via ABC News
And speaking of other things Trump is doing with the troops…
The Pentagon is in the final stages of working on a plan to keep the National Guard in DC until 2029!
2029!
That’s the end of Trump’s term.
2029!
Don’t worry, there’s still one more giant hurdle to cross. Pete Hegseth has to sign off on it. Oh wait, I’m sorry, I read that wrong. There’s one more little tiny itty bity non-hurdle to cross: Pete Hegseth is totally going to sign off on this.
There are about 2,865 troops in DC.
They are there to just be a visible presence, to make people feel safer, since they can’t actually do law enforcement, as well as pick up trash, do landscaping, and scrub graffiti off buildings.
Donald Trump – disrespecting the troops since he and his dad paid that doctor to say his bones were spurrin’ and he couldn’t possibly go to Vietnam.
Bondi Hearing
On Wednesday, Pam Bondi sat for a closed-door briefing on the Epstein files to try and explain to Democratic lawmakers why they were ignoring the law and slow-rolling the full release of the files, pulling back files after they were briefly put online, and doing other super normal things like redacting the names of the abusers and revealing the names of the survivors.
Less than 30 minutes into the briefing, the Dems walked out, saying they would push to for Bondi to be appear under oath next month with House Rep. Maxwell Frost saying, “We want her under oath because we do not trust her.”
Republicans were there too but they’re were like – actually this is all cool with us.
I’m not kidding. Lauren Boebert, who is deeply unserious but, up until this moment, the Epstein files were the one thing that she didn’t mess around on, said she was seriously considering dropping her support for the subpoena because it, “is absolutely shameful to have her come in there willingly to answer anything that we want to ask, and to be treated that way. It just shows what’s to come.”
That’s so insane!
But she also said this is about democrats: “They claim that no one is above the law, and when someone says they’ll follow it, they’re like, no, no. I know on our side that’s BS, so it must be BS when you say it right, and the way they behaved, it makes me not want to support a subpoena to force her to come in and be treated the way she was treated yesterday, it was really embarrassing.”
I think she means she thinks the Democrats were being hypocritical, but I truly had to read it five times, and the first half is still nonsense.
For her part, Bondi said: “I made it crystal clear, I will follow the law.” And that’s great, I’m all for it but if she means it, she can start with doing it and releasing the Epstein files – as the law requires her to do.
Comey Subpoenaed Again
-via CBS News
On Thursday, James Comey was once again subpoenaed by federal prosecutors. It is, once again, about Russia, but this time it’s a whole new investigation into the people who investigated Trump at the time.
Last time, it was looking into his time as a witness in the Trump/Russia connection.
See how that’s different?
His is one of over 130 subpoenas that went out in this investigation, and the charge is that all these people conspired to undermine Donald Trump’s campaign and presidency.
This was ten years ago!!
He won the election!!
Get over it!!
….that’s all.
Nextar Buys Tegna
-via Washington Post
On Thursday, one of the biggest mergers in television went through… that’s right, Nextar acquired Tagna.
What’s that, you don’t know either of those companies? How embarrassing!
(I didn’t know Tagna and I forgot about Nextar. We’re all alright)
Today Warner Bros Discovery shareholders will vote on the WB-Paramount Skydance merger, but yesterday the Department of Justice and FCC unsurprisingly signed off on a $6.2 billion deal that waives a cap that previously prevented station owners from being able to reach more than 39% of American households.
This lets Nextar reach 80%.
What’s the problem? Because we’re not talking about 80% of households being able to see Everwood reruns (if only! Imagine! And then suddenly there’s a spike in viewership and the CW finally gives it that much anticipated 5th season)
Instead, this is one company affecting 80% of American household so-called local news.
The only Dem on the FCC said: “This merger was approved behind closed doors with no open process, no full Commission vote, and no transparency for the consumers and communities who will bear the consequences.”
What will those consequences be? Well, according to New York AG Tish James: “Competition among local TV stations allows consumers to enjoy a variety of affordable options for quality coverage of news, sports, and more. This illegal merger threatens local news and could raise fees for consumers by combining hundreds of TV stations under the same owner.”
Eight state attorneys general sued in federal court to block the deal, alleging it could increase costs for viewers, while DirecTV also sued, calling it anticompetitive and against public interest.
So… we’ll see what happens next. We only need one company anyway. This certainly doesn’t scare me as a consumer of news, a consumer of entertainment, or a person whose entire livelihood depends on this marketplace.
And that’s it. That’s the news!
Hey listen, it’s Friday. Isn’t that so great? I’m proud of Fridays. And weekends. And that on its own is enough to make it a day of happiness.
But more than that. Because every day, every dang moment, is a whole day of happiness just because you exist.. I’m proud of you.