06/22/26

Good morning! It’s Monday, June 22nd.

It is both National Kissing Day and National Onion Ring Day and that feels like a silly little joke.

National Kissing After Onions Dya.

And now, the news.

Update: Iran

-via Reuters, NY Times, NPR, NBC News

Starting in Iran.

When we last left things, France’s President Macron got President Trump to sign the US-Iran Memo of Understanding in Versailles, which is such a good prank.

Another good prank? That anyone believed a deal existed at all. When the deal was signed, it was kind of a secret. A few details had been leaked, but no one really knew what was in the deal. Leading everyone to wonder – how legit is this deal?

Let’s talk about the deal itself.

The three big parts are this:

1 – Iran’s gotta open the Strait of Hormuz

2 – US’s gotta ease sanctions and unfreeze Iranian funds

3 – Once the ink is dry on both sides, the clock starts on a 60-day ceasefire that’s also a conversation about the finer details, including Iran’s nuclear program.

So, that was Thursday. By Friday, the trouble she was a-brewin’ as the ceasefire talks were delayed and Iran said the Strait was closed again. Also on Friday, Trump Temu Tweeted that would be NO TOLLS for those trying to cross the Strait. Except, of course… “they are imposed by and for the United States of America.”

Tricky there because the agreement both sides signed says Iran won’t charge tolls for 60 days but after that, Gulf nations will talk about plans to manage the Strait, and those plans may include charging tolls.

So by Friday it was clear that nothing was clear, but nevertheless, Veep Vance was airborne to Switzerland by Saturday, where the talks were scheduled to take place.

So the talks got started, but things in the Strait remained murky – with Iran saying it was open and the US saying shipping was proceeding as normal.

U.S. Central Command announced on Saturday that 55 commercial ships went through the Strait on Saturday, so that… certainly would make it seem like it’s open?

But Iran is still threatening danger if ships attempt to cross. 

So, the status of the Strait is causing a little bit of an issue.

Another issue? The continued fighting between Hezbollah and Israel. Which continued on Friday and Saturday but, on Sunday, as of this recording, had at least hit a pause. I’m not saying it’s done (if only wishing made it so!), I’m just saying – Sunday saw calm.

And by Sunday, Trump had taken everything completely off the rails.

Because while Veep Vance was in Switzerland trying to downplay the effect the fighting could have on the talks, Trump decided to post: "Iran must immediately stop their highly paid PROXIES in Lebanon from causing trouble. If they don’t, we’ll hit Iran very hard again, just like we did last week, only harder."

Iran didn’t love it, with officials saying: “The Iranian delegation has expressed its protest to the American side and is now reviewing appropriate response to Donald Trump’s recent verbal threats” Adding, “any form of threat is considered a serious violation of the agreement.”

Trump also, on Sunday, had an interview with Fox News where he reportedly said that if Iran closes the Strait, the US will “blow the s--- out of them.” Additionally, he said, “You close it and you won’t have a country. You won’t even make it back to your f------ country.”

During that same interview, when told that Iran’s president said they’d keep their right to enrich uranium, Trump said; “he better watch his mouth” and “he better shape up or we’ll take over the rest of the country.”

All of that before describing the memorandum of understanding as “just an option.” And apparently he believes he, “can do whatever I want after that option.”

Hey guess what – that’s not true! That’s not how that works. 

Someone needs to stop letting him talk to reporters because, not that he’s ever made anything in this world better, but he’s certainly going to make this worse.

Camp David

-via The Daily Beast

This story isn’t really a story, it’s just a weird… thing.

Trump spent the weekend at Camp David, which in itself is odd because he’s only been 17 times in both presidencies combined. The only other president who’s gone less was Truman, who went 10 times. This is only the 2nd time Trump’s been this term.

So it’s odd that he’s there, regardless. But that’s not what’s weird.

What’s weird is that while he was there, he posted a decades old picture on Truth Social of a blonde woman named Margo Catsimatidis, with the text reading “Great daughter. My honor!!! President DJT”

The photo was taken at Camp David and based on her age, and the age she appears in the photo, it was probably taken during Clinton’s presidency. 

No one knows why he posted that EXCEPT, and I’m not saying this is why but it’s not impossible… people are wondering if he thought it was a picture of one of his daughters at Camp David.

He definitely posted the post himself, because there’s a weird line spacing, where “my” and “honor” are two different lines.

Like I said – I don’t really have a story here because I don’t know what to say. I don’t know how to conclude this. I’m not a doctor. Famously, not a doctor in fact.

But this post plus Trump’s dangerous rhetoric on Sunday… from the ankles to the brain, ain’t none of it working.

Boyle Heights Fire

-via CBS News

In Los Angeles—hey, that’s me! 

Oh no… this can’t be good. 

(Actually, it wasn’t, it still isn’t, but it’s getting better)

A fire in Boyle Heights at a factory that stores frozen foods and has been going since Wednesday, finally saw some good news on Sunday as Fire Chief Moore announced that "incredible headway" had been made.

It’s not clear how the fire started, but officials believe it started on the roof while subcontractors were fixing solar panels.

Both Mayor Bass and Governor Newsom have declared a state of emergency. So far, no civilians or firefighters have been injured and, although the smoke does nothing for the normally super healthy and great air that we have here in Los Angeles, no evacuation or shelter-in-place orders have been announced.

Reflection Pool

-via The Hill

And finally – remember last week when we were all having our ha ha’s over the Reflecting Pool turning green after Trump signed off on a $14 million no-bid contract to a company that normally works at his Virginia golf club?

Well it turns out, it’s not funny.

Because it was vandals!

Vandals did this!

And Jeanine Pirro, of Fox News (who I also keep forgetting is the DC US attorney) is going to find anyone who gets caught doing the vandalizing. 

Trump and Pirro are just sure that this is the work of vandals and not, you know, the fact that no one vetted this company.

The American Flag Blue paint is literally coming up off the bottom of the pool, which is the funniest possible thing – he made it so much worse! On brand, I’ll give him that. I’ll give him nothing, but I’ll give him that.

Trump actually posted that they’ve arrested multiple people for this apparent vandalism. I don’t know how many people they’d arrested, but the group includes a 67-year-old who was biking by, and wanted to feel what the chunk of paint peeling felt like. A park ranger told him to let it go and he did – and he was detained for five hours.

They’re really cleaning up the streets of DC. 

Anyway, Pirro did a whole presser about it.

What’s nuts is, I’m actually on her side here. A criminal is responsible for this and I, like her, take it very seriously. 

And the criminal already been convicted of 34 felony counts.

Plus sexual assault.

Plus he did insurrection and was best friends with a pedophile.

And now he ordered all of this work done on the Reflecting Pool and look what he did? 

Pirro, girl, have at em!

And that’s it. That’s the news.

I’m proud of… you know who I’m proud of? People who can make really good onion rings. It’s an underrated skill. Because they need to be crispy on the outside but the onion still needs to have a nice little bite too. 

But more than an onion ring, because you got a nice little bite to ya too… I’m proud of you.