07/28/26
Title
Ignore him.
Vote.
Good morning! It’s Tuesday, July 28th.
National Soccer Day
Shoutout my soccerheads!
And now, the news.
Seattle Food Fest Shooting
We start how we start here in America, with three dead, and at least four others, including a toddler, hospitalized, after a shootout on Sunday at a food festival in Seattle on Sunday.
The shootout is believed to be gang-related. One of the three dead, a 19-year-old, is believed to be involved. A 15-year-old has also been arrested, and the search continues for the third suspect. A statement on Sunday said there were only two suspects but, as I’m sure you can imagine, information was very hard to confirm. That statement has since been amended to confirm a third suspect.
This is the 271st mass shooting of the year and today is the 209th day of the year.
Crime Updates
-via NY Times, Today Show, and NBC News
And while we’re talking about deeply disturbing (and also American) crimes…
Just a couple real quick updates on some national mukduk cases.
Brian Kohberger, the criminology student serving four life sentences for the murder of four University of Idaho students in November of 2022 chose chaos on Monday when, in an interview with New York Times, he announced he’d filed a petition to challenge his conviction (he pleaded guilty for a plea deal), saying the plea “hinged on by false promises and blatant disinformation, MUST be withdrawn.”
Listen, I’m famously a non-lawyer but not a non- criminology expert (which… the double negative makes it seem like I AM a criminology expert. I’m not. I’m not a non-criminologist. But the judge asked him: “Are you pleading guilty because you are guilty?”
And he said: “Yes.”
And he is, of course, allowed to have this petition reviewed. Because injustice anywhere is injustice anywhere so, you know, you have to let the petition move forward. But like… come on. He did it. I should say it’s very rare for a defendant to win a post-conviction challenge. Which is a bummer for innocent people – hard to imagine that’s the case here.
Anyway, so we’ll see what’s happens there.
Moving to the rapper D4vid, accused of killing fourteen-year-old Celeste Rivas Hernandez. In court on Monday, text messages reveal that he was texting with a then thirteen-year-old Celeste about an abortion. And his response to her included: “I didn’t want to ever put you through this.” He also asked when she’d have it done.
This is only the latest piece of damning evidence against the 21-year-old, whose legal name is David Anthony Burke. His lawyers say they will, “vigorously defend David’s innocence.” Which I mean… yeah that’s what they’ve got to do but there’s literally zero chance he didn’t do this so…
And in the case of Nancy Guthrie… on Monday, following a 2nd note that was sent to various media outlets last week, confirming that Nancy was dead, Savannah Guthrie released yet another video plea asking for information to help the Guthrie family find Nancy and bring her home. The video is so hard to watch. I’m telling you… someone better help that family bring their mom home or I’m gonna start YELLING.
Trump Tries to Curb Voting
And moving on to one of our most famous criminals…
On Monday, Trump, once again, asked his besties at the Supreme Court to pretty please let him do voter disenfranchisement.
He’s trying again to change vote-by-mail laws to make it harder to make those legitimate votes count. He, of course, knows vote-by-mail by another name. It’s called… THE WAY HE ALWAYS VOTES.
So basically, he signed an executive order, presidential fan fiction, to create a nationwide list of verified eligible voters, as well as restrict mail-in voting. 23 democratic states and DC sued, and lower courts blocked the order in those places that sued.
A response is due by August 3rd.
We are less than 100 days from the midterms. Where every action he takes only makes it more obvious that they think they’re going to get walloped at the polling place. And they will have deserved it. Why? Because they are cheating to win, instead of working to win someone’s vote.
He literally said he doesn’t want there to be any mail-in-votes. My guy – when’s the last time you voted in person? Unknowable for sure but possibly 22 years because there’s a 2004 video, ironically show for Access Hollywood, showing him trying to vote at multiple NYC voting locations but not being able to because he’s not on the list and then finally he says “I’m going to fill out the absentee ballot.”
Hey moron – you literally get a thing in the mail telling you where to cast your (likely, at that time, democratic cause dude ain’t got a moral to his name) vote.
He’s going to continue to play these games, and only get more annoying about them, as we get closer.
Ignore him.
Vote.
Update: Iran
-via CBS News and The Daily Beast
Speaking of reasons that the Republicans should lose the midterms (listen, not at all Republicans blah blah blah but if they’re not standing up against this?? They deserve to lose their job in public service)…
As things in Iran continue to be fragile and unknown –
Pete Hegseth had the four most recent service members who died in the war REMOVED from the list of casualties because, according to people the NY Times spoke with (and also our brains) – the administration is trying to save face about how badly things are going.
These people are truly the worst. The absolute worst in the world.
When they added their names, they did it under the Overseas Operations list – anything to keep up appearances.
Update: Mitch
-via NBC News
And in order “everyone who co-signed this should lose their jobs” news…
Wait, side note. I’m killing it on the segues. Is this because I saw Kelly Clarkson over the weekend? Is this one of many skills I now have? Amazing.
Anyway, shout out Kelly. SO sorry to include your name in this story but hey… Mitch McConnell is not ready to go back work yet! Can you even believe it? I, for one, am shocked.
According to a statement that he for sure definitely wrote, he’s still keeping up with his doctor’s PT schedule and, “Unfortunately, that means I won’t be able to make it to Fancy Farm, Kentucky this Saturday.”
Oh my god! Shocking!
He says, and again for sure he definitely said this for sure, he says there’s “no place I’d rather be” than the Fancy Farm annual picnic in Kentucky this weekend and “I hate that I’ll miss the fun this year.”
Yeah, I bet, as a super awake and conscious person, you’re aware of the Fancy Farm picnic you’re missing.
He’s missed 38 votes so far – the Senate has 2 more weeks of work before it breaks for summer. August 4th is, of course, the day to really look out for. At that point it’s too close to the November election for a special election to be held and so the seat will stay empty until whoever wins McConnell’s seat in November (he’d already said he wouldn’t run for reelection) is sworn in, in January.
McConnell’s team also released a new picture of him. Listen… here’s the deal. Here’s all you need to know about whether it’s AI or not… he’s sitting there, happy and smiling, looking like he got himself a nice little facelift on his way out of a TARDIS… if he was truly feeling as amazing as he says he does, or as conscious as his team says he is – he’d release a video. Even a short one.
We don’t do conspiracy theories here. But we don’t accept lies either.
And that’s it. That’s the news.
I wasn’t kidding about Kelly Clarkson – that’s the 4th time I’ve seen her (whatever, you knew what this show was when you started listening. It’s free!) and she gets better every single time. And like – I don’t know this woman. At all. (Even though I am, famously, her little sister.) But I just was so proud of her!
She just seemed so healthy and happy. Therapy works, for real.
But more than… no no. Not even for the joke.
More than soccer! More than footie. Because you’ve never been nil – I’m proud of you.