Wash Your Hands, I Guess
Five soldiers were shot at Fort Stewart, RFK Jr. cut mRNA vaccine research, JD Vance hosted a strategy dinner on Epstein fallout, Trump threatened to federalize DC after a carjacking, and Texas Democrats faced a bomb threat while continuing to block GOP redistricting plans.
Bringing in the Illinois. Bringing in the Illi-Funk.
Austin Drummond was captured in Tennessee, Trump is eying military use for the Olympics and invited a sex offender to a kids’ event, the House subpoenaed DOJ for Epstein files, Texas map fights escalated, and NASA may put a nuclear reactor on the moon.
We Love Comedy!
Two nationwide manhunts are underway for mass murder suspects in Montana and Tennessee, Pam Bondi ordered a baseless grand jury investigation into Obama over 2016 election conspiracy claims, and Texas Democrats are holding firm outside the state to block a Trump-backed GOP gerrymander.
Not Only Is He a Bad Person, He Is Also a Bad President
Four people were killed in a Montana bar shooting, Ghislaine Maxwell was moved to a cushy prison camp, Trump fired the BLS chief after a bad jobs report, Jack Smith is under investigation, and Texas Democrats fled the state to block GOP gerrymandering.
When’s That Brain Worm Writing a Memoir?
Trump wants to share your health data with Big Tech and told Texas to gerrymander harder. Ghislaine Maxwell wants immunity, RFK Jr. let a parasitic fish give him a hickey, and religious persuasion at work is now encouraged.
Special Episode: Voting in America
A special episode about the latest attack on voting rights in America.
Sometimes Soup Is Cold
A short episode (there’s a special episode about voting in the feed) with an update on Monday’s shooting in New York and the Russian earthquake that turned into a tsunami warning along the west coast.
Just Buy Cheese
Three people are dead in a Reno casino shooting with another active shooter incident in Manhattan later that day. Trump downplays the starvation in Gaza starvation, shortens Russia’s ceasefire deadline, and distances himself from Epstein — again. Meanwhile, Ghislaine Maxwell has made appeal to SCOTUS and a judge blocked Trump’s plan to defund Planned Parenthood.
15%, Innit?
A Michigan man is charged with terrorism after a stabbing spree. Israel pauses fighting as Gaza starves. Trump touts a shaky EU trade deal—then calls for Beyoncé’s arrest.
I’m Trying to Create a Memory for People!
France recognizes Palestine as the US exits ceasefire talks, SCOTUS tees up two major voting rights cases that could gut the VRA, Trump visits the Fed, and of course - a cat crimewave in New Zealand.
I’m the Cream of the Crop Baybee
The EPA moves to gut climate rules, Columbia pays Trump $221M, Harvard resists. Macron sues Candace Owens, courts block Trump’s birthright plan, and Epstein file chaos deepens. Plus: Pete Hegseth leaked war secrets in a group chat.
Good Job Mikey
As the Marines withdraw from Los Angeles, Ozzy Osbourne dies at 76, the U.S. Olympic Committee quietly bans trans women from competition, and the House delays a vote on the Epstein files while the DOJ prepares to meet with Ghislaine Maxwell.
The Twice Impeached President of the United States Was Besties With a Pedophile
Global pressure mounts on Israel to end the war in Gaza, Breonna Taylor’s killer is sentenced to 33 months, actor Malcolm Jamal-Warner dies in a drowning accident, and Trump releases FBI files on MLK Jr. to distract from growing Epstein fallout.
Sounds Like You’re Busted, Dude
A devastating car crash in East Hollywood injures 30, Israeli forces kill dozens of Palestinians seeking aid, Colbert’s show gets the axe under suspicious timing, and Trump spirals further as new Epstein revelations emerge alongside threats, lawsuits, and late-night meltdowns.
I Never Wrote a Picture in My Life
ICE gains access to Medicaid data in a chilling new agreement, the DOJ seeks only one day in prison for Breonna Taylor’s killer, Trump’s health raises fresh concerns, and disturbing new Epstein revelations include a letter signed by Trump.
Prove You Didn’t Do It
An earthquake in Alaska triggers a tsunami warning, Israel bombs Syria amid shifting alliances, Trump escalates Epstein cover-up accusations while firing key prosecutors.
Big Fan of Oats
Trump appeals a ruling limiting unconstitutional ICE raids, the Supreme Court lets him gut the Education Department, ceasefire talks stall in Israel-Gaza, Trump pledges weapons to Ukraine, and bizarrely claims ownership of a World Cup trophy.
We Did It Boys!
Trump appeals a ruling limiting unconstitutional ICE raids, the Supreme Court lets him gut the Education Department, ceasefire talks stall in Israel-Gaza, Trump pledges weapons to Ukraine, and bizarrely claims ownership of a World Cup trophy.
Epstein? I Hardly Knowstein
A deadly shooting in Kentucky, catastrophic floods in Texas, ICE raids under legal fire, lawmakers uncover horrors at Alligator Alcatraz, and Trump allies scramble as the Epstein memo backfires.
Special Episode: The Budget Bill
This is a special episode about the news that the budget bill has passed.