The Sickest Conduct Possible
Three officers are killed in Pennsylvania, and Jimmy Kimmel’s show is pulled after calling out MAGA hypocrisy—prompting the FCC chair to call it “the sickest conduct possible” while the actual president jails migrants, builds gator prisons, and plans hostile takeovers of Democratic cities.
Shave the Beard
Two Minneapolis encampments hit by mass shootings, Israel bombs Gaza as Trump pleads ignorance and the UN accuses genocide, Kash Patel embarrasses himself in Congress, Fani Willis loses her appeal, and Trump sues the New York Times for $15 billion.
And Marco Rubio Just Stands There
Israeli PM Netanyahu defended strikes beyond borders, North Korea declares its nuclear status irreversible, a Queens man was charged with murder after ramming a group with his car, Maurene Comey will sue over her firing, the U.S. bombed another Venezuelan boat, and Trump announced a sweeping Memphis task force while JD Vance blamed “left-wing extremism” for Charlie Kirk’s assassination.
Can I Be an Astronaut?
NATO allies scramble jets after another Russian incursion, Texas Rep. McCaul warns of WWIII and retires, the Charlie Kirk suspect turns himself in (despite Kash Patel taking credit), and Trump shifts his National Guard focus from Chicago to Memphis.
Books Are Great
The FBI flounders in the Charlie Kirk assassination manhunt, a Colorado teen shooter is linked to an extremist network, Bolsonaro is sentenced to 27 years for plotting a coup, and the Trump admin destroys $9.7M in birth control.
A Tipping Point
The shocking assassination of Charlie Kirk leads a day of news that also includes another school shooting.
Outraged, in Fact
Israel strikes Hamas leaders in Qatar during peace talks, SCOTUS fast-tracks his tariff case, the Epstein birthday letter comes to light as a leak at the DOJ lets us know they may redact Republicans from the Epstein list, and ICE raids continue as the Supreme Court greenlights racial profiling.
Programming Note
Tomorrow will bring a regular episode but today is just a quick reaction to the Supreme Court's ruling about lifting restrictions on ‘roving’ ICE raids in Los Angeles.
If Tennis Fans Like Him...
One dead in a Texas shooting, Trump threatens Chicago with war, nearly 500 Hyundai workers are detained in a massive immigration raid, Russia launches its biggest aerial strike on Ukraine yet, and the USTA asks broadcasters to hide dissent against Trump.
This Is a Cow’s Opinion
Trump tries to meddle in Missouri’s elections, RFK Jr. unravels at a Senate hearing, the DOJ targets trans Americans and faces lawsuits for overreach, DC sues over the hostile takeover, and the Pentagon might get a cosplay rebrand.
We Call That a Classic
A court blocks Trump’s mass deportation of Venezuelans, warships escalate tensions off Venezuela’s coast, Trump meddles in NYC’s mayoral race, Florida ends all vaccine mandates as West Coast states form a health alliance, Epstein survivors threaten to name names, Harvard beats a federal funding freeze in court, and Newsmax sues Fox in a battle of bad actors.
Take Our Wins Where We Can Get Em
Trump reemerges to lie and move Space Command to punish Colorado, Epstein files resurface with little new info, Modi-Xi-Putin unite while Trump’s left out, a judge rules Trump’s use of the military in LA was illegal, and he threatens to send forces into Baltimore next.
Human Beings Contain Multitudes
The CDC director is fired for following science, Afghanistan reels from a deadly quake, Rudy Giuliani survives a serious car crash, Chicago braces for ICE raids, Trump disappears from public view, and the president might be golfing—or maybe not.
That Dude Sucks at Secrets
Two false shooter threats hit universities, Trump targets 55 million visas, has a fraud fine tossed, halts NIH grants on DEI, and patrols DC streets, all while the Pentagon seeks ICE volunteers and Kevin McCarthy melts down over California’s redistricting.
This Whole Thing Turns on Turnout
As Israel begins its takeover of Gaza, a change of command at Target shows protest works. Plus, updates on DC, the Epstein files, and Texas.
I’m Starting to Think We Can’t Trust That Guy
After a massive Russian strike follows Trump’s Putin-Zelensky plan, he calls Crimea and NATO “impossible” for Ukraine, while House Republicans trap a Texas Democrat in chambers, Epstein files are set for release, ICE arrests a legal police officer, and Trump revokes security clearances.
Presidential Fan Fiction With an Interesting Scribble
Trump proposes ending mail-in voting, jokes about canceling elections during war, and arranges a Putin-Zelensky meeting after suggesting Ukraine give up Crimea; meanwhile, a Texas Democrat refuses to sign GOP demands to leave chambers.
Dictator With Way Too Much Makeup
Trump’s meeting with Putin fails to deliver, Oklahoma imposes ideological teacher tests, Hurricane Erin has arrived, Texas Democrats begin their trip home while DC protests continue over Trump’s emergency police takeover.
Pamela Duncifer Bondi
SCOTUS greenlights Mississippi’s social media age checks, Florida adds a “Deportation Depot,” Texas opens its largest-ever ICE facility, California puts gerrymandering on the ballot during an ICE raid, Trump threatens to punish DC officials over crime stats, and a House member has seen interdimensional beings.
Just Trying to Eat Some Taco Bell
Trump faces legal backlash over his military deployment to LA, expands federal control in DC, Texas Republicans push gerrymandered maps as Paxton targets Beto, and Russia-linked hackers breach U.S. court records days before Trump meets with Putin to discuss Ukraine - without Ukraine.