Ashton Kutcher Gave Me This Hat
Six U.S. servicemembers return home as Trump escalates the Iran conflict, violence erupts in Peru, tornadoes kill six in the Midwest, and Alabama prepares to execute a man who didn’t commit murder.
You Don’t Get to Be Flippant
We’re still in Iran, but at least Kristi Noem and Rep. Gonzalez are seeing some consequences for action. Plus, Britney Spears has been arrested.
You’re Not Gross
As the war in Iran continues on (with no pushback from Congress…), Pam Bondi gets served, and Biden’s in the clear.
That There Is a Purple State
It’s election night in (parts of) America. Plus, a mass shooter’s father is found guilty, Kristi Noem testifies, and we are still at war.
Our Best “Going Out Top” With Jeans
We start with a shooting in Austin that has left at least three people dead and may or may not be connected to the other big story - the US and Israel have launched an attack on Iran.
Because of How 2026 Is Super Fun!
New details emerged in the deadly Cuba clash, Pakistan declared “open war” with Afghanistan, Netflix exited the media mega-merger race, the U.S. military shot down a CBP drone, and Epstein hearings descended (further) into political theater.
I’ll Ease You In
Four people were killed by Cuban border troops in a murky maritime incident, U.S. courts pushed back on the Trump administration’s immigration abuses, horrifying new details emerged about CBP conduct, and Medicaid funding to Minnesota was abruptly frozen.
But the Fascism Is Fascism
Four people were killed in a stabbing in Washington state, the DOJ sued UCLA over campus protests, the Louvre’s director finally stepped down after a $102 million theft, and Trump gave a record-long State of the Union full of lies.
Super Normal Stuff for When You’re Innocent
Mexico reacts to the killing of El Mencho, another Epstein-linked arrest rocks the UK, Judge Cannon blocks the Jack Smith report, a blizzard shuts down the Tri-State Area, and the Trump administration gets sued from every direction.
Trying to Keep This Relationship Fresh
Russia continues to escalate its assault on Ukraine, an armed man was killed near Mar-a-Lago, ICE quietly shot and killed a man in Texas last year, the partial shutdown continues, the Supreme Court told Trump no on tariffs, and the Olympians do what Olympians do.
Such an Embarrassing Cliché
Prince Andrew was arrested in the UK on suspicion of misconduct, Trump is openly threatening a strike on Iran, and the Justice Department unveiled a banner so dystopian it feels ripped straight from a fascism movie.
The SAVE Act is Bad
Call Congress: (202) 224-3121
An episode that’s way too long and should have had a script is all about the danger of SAVE Act, what you can do to stop it, and the power of your ballot.
Conan O’Brien Has Never Made a Mistake in His Life
More information has been revealed out about Monday’s Rhode Island ice rink shooting, an armed man is stopped at the Capitol, disasters unfold across the West, CBS caves to Trump pressure, and we lose civil rights giant Jesse Jackson.
To Misquote the Scholar Kelly Clarkson
A mass shooting at a hockey rink, a partial government shutdown over ICE demands, explosive Epstein testimony, and updates on Nancy Guthrie and two Hollywood deaths.
The President of the United States Is a White Supremacist.
Trump posts a racist video, the Clintons challenge closed-door Epstein hearings, and Savannah Guthrie’s mom is still missing.
So Many Other Things to Worry About
A DHS lawyer breaks down in court, a judge calls the Trump administration lawless, and SCOTUS backs California voters.
Tulsi Gabbard? The Democrat?
Trump coordinated a raid on Georgia’s ballots, praised it in real-time, and now wants to nationalize elections. Plus, the government is still in a partial shutdown, the Clintons will testify, Trump is shutting down the Kennedy Center, and Savannah Guthrie’s mom has been taken.