06/24/25
Good morning! It’s Tuesday, June 24th.
National Porridge Day.
Innit?
I said, national porridge day, innit?
Is porridge british? What are they doing these days? Can we come home? Just for a little bit. To do laundry and watch TV and stuff. Just for like… three and a half years?
Hey, yesterday I said it was January 23rd. Whoops. It’s June. No one’s trying to live these last six months over again. Definitely not us here in LA, that’s for sure! We’re not trying to go back to mid-January! (That’s for pointing that out Carly. Hey guess what, I didn’t go back and fix it. Mostly so I go to this little bit here.)
And now, the news.
Iran Strikes Back
-via AP News, NBC News, and CNN
We are, of course, starting in the Middle East, where, as expected, Monday brought a little more clarity to a hazy situation. By which I mean – we don’t know everything, but we know more things.
Early on Monday, the Iranian government responded to Saturday’s bombings by launching a strike on a US military base in Qatar (also pronounced Qatar). No casualties have been reported, with Qatar saying they were able to intercept the attack using their air defenses.
The Iranian government says they used the exact number of missiles that the United States used, and specifically chose that base because it is outside of populated areas.
Trump thanked the Iranian government for their specific warning about which base they would attack. It’s unclear if that actually happened, but there was, definitely, a generalized warning that American air bases could be attacked.
And, frankly, that warning was there before the US even got involved in all of this.
Because he cannot help himself, in the message thanking Iran for the heads up, he also called their attack weak. And then ended it with, in all caps: “CONGRATULATIONS WORLD, IT’S TIME FOR PEACE!”
Which is so funny to me.
You got that, everyone? We’re good now! Time for peace. Because Donald Trump says so.
No. No no.
This is not the one for whom world peace falls simply because he posted about it on an unsuccessful knockoff website that he bought because he was kicked off Twitter, where he didn’t even have his own name as the user name because he’s such a terrible negotiator, because on Twitter he called for an insurrection in his name and honor because he lost an election and instead of Going to Therapy and Eating Some Ice Cream about it, he did insurrection, then ran again and now, and I can’t even get into it right now, but now it’s like… okay maybe it’s not… I mean… it sounds like maybe it’s not out of the realm of possibility that the 2024 election wasn’t on the up and up?
I don’t think so.
Nice try, though.
Anyway!
Where was I?
Oh! The Iranian government choosing the exact number of missiles, as well as a base outside of populated areas, leading to an attack resulting in zero casualties, does signal that they are looking to de-escalate things.
I mean, in words, their Supreme Leader said, "We did not attack anyone. And we do not accept anyone’s attack. And we will not surrender to anyone’s attack; This is the logic of the Iranian nation." But it is important to see that specific choices were made here.
It does appear though, through Trump’s all-caps rejoicing of peace, that he has no immediate plans for retaliation.
In fact, Trump announced that the governments of Israel and Iran have both agreed to a ceasefire that, according to the media, he hopes will be permanent. And according to Trump: “It has been fully agreed by and between Israel and Iran that there will be a Complete and Total CEASEFIRE (in approximately 6 hours from now, when Israel and Iran have wound down and completed their in progress, final missions!), for 12 hours, at which point the War will be considered, ENDED.”
Dude. Stop… saying things like that. Give a little wiggle room. I mean, what do I care? I’m not doing PR for the guy but he really does not give himself an out. “completely and totally obliterated” “the war will be considered ended”
You don’t want a little wiggle room there?
Also, a 12-hour ceasefire and war being over are very different. So… which is it? I guess we’ll know by the time you hear this.
Confusingly, the government of Iran says it never saw a ceasefire proposal. So. You know.
Neither the governments of Iran nor Israel have commented on said ceasefire, as of this recording.
Also, when asked if he knew where Iran’s enriched uranium, aka the thing that started all of this, could mayhaps be located, Veep Vance said, “The goal was to eliminate the enrichment and eliminate their ability to convert that enriched fuel into a nuclear weapon. I actually just, I think that’s an important point.”
Sure, that’s an important point. Another important point… ya dodged the question. You very clearly don’t know the answer.
As I mentioned she would, AG Pam Bondi appeared before Congress on Monday to say everything Trump has ever done, in his life quite frankly is legal and whose to say you’re not committing a crime for thinking anything different?
Also, predicted, press secretary Karoline Leavitt responded to questions about Trump’s Iranian government regime change comments in a very condescending way, which way basically oh he can’t ask questions, now? He’s not allowed to wonder things? He’s a natural thinker, the president. Greatest mind of our generation. A ponderer. Can’t get the man to stop pondering. Have you ever see The Thinker statue? Thanks basically him, but that statue doesn’t have as good of a body. Now someone else ask a different question because this person asked a dumb one.
To quote Taylor Swift… I hate it here.
Update: Los Angeles
-via NBC News
And although the Trump administration would be super excited if you could pretty please keep your focus on Iran, let’s check in on everyone’s favorite local hostile government takeover! (Just kidding – half the country hates us. For what? For what. What did we do? We gave you all your favorite movies and TV shows! For a while… until they moved away. Now we give you some of your favorite moves and TV shows)
Los Angeles!
The National Guard and Marines are still here.
I’m starting to feel bad for them.
On Thursday, a three-judge panel (two appointed by Trump, so gird your loins for this shock) on the 9th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals said Trump was within his presidential authority when he sent the military here.
Chillingly, Trump’s post-win announcement said: “This is much bigger than Gavin, because all over the United States, if our Cities, and our people, need protection, we are the ones to give it to them should State and Local Police be unable, for whatever reason, to get the job done.”
So… are you gonna do police state other places?
State Attorney General Rob Bonta reacted with his own statement: "This case is far from over."
Yeah. Good. Cause… that post-win announcement is bad. And like, we’re all paying a lot of attention to other stuff right now. So someone needs to make sure this doesn’t just, you know, slip by.
Deportations in America
Another thing we can’t get distracted about: deportations in America.
On Monday, the Supreme Court ruled in Trump’s favor (whoa! I know! Didn’t… see that coming) to resume deporting migrants to countries other than their homeland. For example – the South Sudan, which is still in the middle of a civil war.
Yeah! Send em on over. For sure, they’ve got time to take this on. Time and resources. They are in a literal humanitarian crisis. That is where Trump wants to send people. A third-party country. They’re not from there! So now you’re making life worse for the people you’re sending there, and making it harder for the people that are already in the country.
Both.
This was an emergency request, by the way. Emergency request. Couldn’t wait!
No time to waste.
I think it’s important to remember that Stephen Miller is the one that’s directing all of the Trump administration’s immigration policy here. Things like this, abhorrent actions like this, that’s all him. The reason for these horrific ICE raids – that’s him too.
Something that didn’t really get a lot of traction post-Trump election, but people are remembering now (but if anyone had a conscience or a gut, they would have spoken out during the campaign, although what difference would it have made because remember when they literally had a mirror of a Hitler rally at the exact venue and made jokes about Puerto Ricans, who are literally American citizens, and no one cared), is that Miller once said that if it were up to him, there would only be 100 million Americans and they would all look like him.
You can use your imagination about what he looks like.
Very white!
Asks but where are you really from if he’s outside for more than five minutes.
No, I’m kidding.
He obviously can’t see himself in the mirror.
Or go outside when the sun’s out.
Or be around garlic or crosses.
Kevin McCarthy, remember him? Oh man… I miss him. I mean, I don’t miss him but I do miss making fun of him. I really miss how much he hates Matt Gaetz. Literally his only point of relevancy. Anyway, McCarthy was quoted in January as saying, “He has the president’s complete trust. Trump’s complained about everyone. Never him.”
Complete trust.
So when JD Vance comes to California and calls our Senator, whose name is Senator Alex Padilla, or Senator Padilla, or Alex if you know him, when he calls him JOSE, as he did last week when asked to comment on why the Senator was roughly shoved by multiple security agents before pushed to his knees and handcuffed after simply announcing who he was and attempting to ask Kristi Noem a question at a press conference in LA… understand the context.
You think JD doesn’t know his name? You think he actually thought his name was Jose? No.
One Big Beautiful Bill
-via ABC News
That abhorrently named One Big Beautiful Bill is still on the PR tour. Remember, those nerds in the GOP want it on the president’s desk for signature by the 4th of July.
I don’t have any news here for this, but this will be a big week for this bill. Bad bill, worse name.
And that’s it. That’s the news.
Here’s something that’ll make you feel better.
Trump had to delete one of his Truth Social posts because he spelled his name wrong. Which is so funny to me. For two reasons.
One, because duh. He spelled it Donakd.
Also because one of the things people hated about Twitter was that you couldn’t edit tweets. You can now, but you couldn’t when he got kicked off for doing insurrection.
But the technology exists.
Why not make it so you can edit tweets.
You didn’t have to delete it.
We know you did it. There’s no taking this away. Deleting it makes it worse.
But also, now we know your website is too late to make at least your account’s posts editable.
You literally can’t do anything right.
You are such a loser!
Anyway, you’re not. Porridge isn’t.
Innit. British jokes, innit?
Seriously, London… can we just crash on your couch for a couple of years?
Hey… I’m proud of you.