08/22/25

Good morning! It’s Friday, August 22nd.

National Bao Day.

There is the cutest, sweetest, Pixar Short on Disney+ about baos. If you want to cry, please go watch Bao.

And now, the news.

Villanova University

-via NBC News

Starting in Pennsylvania and Tennessee where scary moments of lockdown after news of a shooter on campus, turned out to be TWO cruel hoaxes, per both university presidents.

These are separate incidents.

They happened hours apart and, while under investigation, are not believed to be connected.

Great country. Super healthy. Everyone’s doing very well here.

Trump Reviewing Visas

-via AP News

Speaking of the health of our country…

On Thursday, the Trump administration announced that they are reviewing more than 55 million valid visas, looking for any reason to kick them out.

Those reasons will include social media accounts.

This is an expansion of the student visa review, which was really just – are you pro-Israel or anti-Palestine? Come on in! Opposite? Ummmm…. We’re full.

They also announced they will stop issuing worker visas for commercial truck drivers immediately, with Marco Rubio saying “The increasing number of foreign drivers operating large tractor-trailer trucks on U.S. roads is endangering American lives and undercutting the livelihoods of American truckers.”

Whoa! Not even hiding it anymore.

That’s just so racist on its face!

Foreign drivers are endangering American lives. That’s what that sentence says. That’s that plan language of the sentence. Isn’t that wild??

So bad.

See you in court, I’d assume but they’re not even hiding it anymore.

100 million Americans.

Horrific.

Trump’s Suit Tossed Out

-via Axios

Also on Thursday, a New York state appellate court tossed out Trump $465 million(ish) fine in his civil fraud case that was actually election fraud because this was the case where he falsified business records to pay $130,000 to Stormy Daniels to keep their affair quiet ahead of the 2016 election to keep that information away from you, the voter.

That was the fraud. To keep information from you.

Turns out the other information he kept from us was that he was going to try and only have 100 million Americans in the country and they’d all look like Stephen Miller and honestly even one person looking like him is too much.

The reason the fine was tossed was because… the president said so. Well, the president said it was too big to justify.

The ruling said, “While harm certainly occurred, it was not the cataclysmic harm that can justify a nearly half billion-dollar award to the State." Okay, then make it smaller.

Though one could argue that him being elected is cataclysmic harm but, you know…

Anyway – rough. Rough bit of news.

Listen, he was never going to pay this. You probably forgot about this because of everything else going on. Be mad if you need to be but don’t be so mad that it’s your whole day. I kind of forgot that he owed this money.

There are other things to be mad about.

Honestly, if I wasn’t going to get part of it or if it wasn’t going to actually hurt him or bum him out – there are other things to focus on.

SOCUS Allows NIH Grant Freeze

-via CNN

Here’s something to focus on instead.

On Thursday, the Supreme Court allowed the Trump administration to freeze almost $800 million in National Institute of Health research grants, which of course touch on race and gender issues through about 1,700 grants.

However, it did say the grantees could still seek the money but they’d have to do it in a different court.

Chief Justice Roberts joined with the liberal judges for a 5-4 vote on a case that comes from Trump’s order to cut grants and contracts that “promote gender ideology” or “immoral race- and sex-based preferences under the guise of so-called” DEI efforts.

I’m sure there will be no long-lasting repercussions from this!

Pentagon Looking for Volunteers

-via The Guardian

And if you’ve got a couple free hours a week that you’d like to fill… the Pentagon is looking for ICE volunteers.

“The Secretary of Defense has authorized DoD civilian employees to participate in details to the Department of Homeland Security to contribute to its operations along the Southern Border and its internal immigration enforcement activities.”

This to me says that ICE is having some hiring troubles. If Dean Cain couldn’t entice people to be a brown shirt, what on earth will??

So… pretty cool.

Jobs will include “data entry, operational planning support, processing and throughput logistics, and logistical support.”

Could never be me.

And not just because I don’t even what thoughtput logistics are.

I work in TV!

Trump to Patrol DC

-via CBS News

And moving to DC, which… if you are a resident of DC, fear not! You’re safe now… Donald Trump patrolled the mean streets of Washington District of Columbia on Thursday night.

This is what he said on Thursday, ahead of it happening (which is when I’m recording this): "I'm going to be going out tonight, I'm going to keep it a secret. I'm going to be out tonight, I think with the police, and with the military, of course. So we're going to do a job. The National Guard is great. They've done a fantastic job."

That dude sucks at secrets.

The president cannot patrol the streets! That’s logistically impossible. No president can do that.

Also – him? He’s gonna do it?

A felon is going to go on patrol? Are you sure you want to be that close to a cop car guy?

Whatever, enjoy… nothing, actually. Enjoy nothing.

Kevin McCarthy, LOL

-via CBS News

And finally… Kevin McCarthy is back in the news because he’s very upset about California’s plan to redistrict California in direct response to Texas’ gerrymandered maps which passed in the House on Wednesday.

California’s plan passed the first step on Thursday and then captain relevance was like hey! Even though I’ve done everything to support Trump, THIS is the thing that’s bringing down democracy! This temporary thing that actually, in its own way, is a safeguard for democracy, is a thing I cannot stand for.

Stood for the insurrectionist who was found liable for sexual assault. That was fine.

This is a step too far.

Anyway… I don’t have much to say here. I just like to remind everyone that Kevin McCarthy worked his entire career to be Speaker of the House and then when he had the opportunity he is the only speaker in history that needed about a million and a half rounds of voting to get the gig and he only got it after promising that he would do anything for anyone and if any Republican wanted, it would only take one person standing up to have a recount and vote him out of the Speakers seat because he was so sure he’d bend to everyone’s will so he didn’t think this would blow up in his face and then it did so not only was he the first person since 1923 to need more than one round of voting to get the gig, he also holds the record for shortest person to hold the gavel since 1875.

But go off babe, get back in front of the camera.

Remind us all of that accomplishment.

And that’s it. That’s the news.

Hey, no news next week. Well, no news shows so no one tell anyone, okay? We don’t need any breaking news mucking up my break!

Hey, a judge ruled that Florida’s Alligator Alcatraz can stay open, but no more construction can happen, and no additional detainees can be brought in, because of environmental concerns. Also, Erik Menendez was denied parole. He can file again in three years. His brother Lyle’s parole decision hasn’t been announced yet.

Those things happened after I wrote this episode, but because I’m so amazing, so dedicated, I still included it here. Not so dedicated that I’m not taking next week off, but still… it’s a fine line a walk.

I’m proud of… baos! Carbs of all kinds, really.

Also that woman in Bao. Go watch Bao. It’s really sweet.

But more than all the Pixar shorts in all the catalogue. Because you might be short by, you know, classic height standards, but you’re 10 feet tall in my heart – I’m proud of you.