09/22/25
Good morning! It’s Monday, September 22nd
National Ice Cream Cone Day
Joe Biden! How’d you get here? Say what you want about the man, but that dude loves ice cream. Hear me out… when people were trying to get him to get out of the race last year, did anyone just offer him a scoop of ice cream on a fresh waffle cone for it? 50/50 chance it would have worked.
And now, the news.
Actually, quick side note: if you’re hearing this episode on your regular podcast app – awesome, we love it. No notes. But you could, if you want, also see my little mug on youtube.com. Do you know about youtube.com? It’s a website that was started because two friends couldn’t easily find clips of the Super Bowl halftime show (that’s the one where Justin Timberlake ripped Janet Jackson’s top and her nipple show and even though they were both on screen and almost everyone has nips, she was essentially banned forever and also she is literally banned from the Grammys forever but Justin Timberlake is fine). Anyway, that’s YouTube and now this show will be there too.
Because this show is worth, at a minimum, $10 million a year (or I walk) so we’ll start there.
My pitch for you watching it there? I’m cute as a button.
My pitch against? I’ll be embarrassed.
Anyway, link in show notes.
Now, for real, the news. Stop distracting me ya goose!
“Free” (😉) Speech
Starting with more fallout over ABC’s decision to pull the Jimmy Kimmel show indefinitely for saying the mildest possible truths (which, not for nothing, shouldn’t matter because, you know, First Amendment and all).
On Thursday, Congressional Dems (in both the House and Senate) introduced a bill to strengthen free speech against government officials.
Don’t expect this one to get too far, because Democrats don’t have the lead in either chamber but still – what do we say? Get caught trying. When it’s for the greater good, when it’s an attempt to actually make life better for people… get caught trying.
And specifically here, put Republicans on the record against free speech.
And it’s needed too because the free speech party’s Dear Leader, President Trump, on Thursday said, “I have read someplace that the networks were 97% against me,” adding, “I would think maybe their license should be taken away.”
Now, obviously that number, 97%, a cow’s opinion. Pulled that little guy outta thin air. But there are some networks that, yes, do have the audacity to sometimes say bad things about him. And there are some networks that cover his crimes. It probably seems like it’s 97% because he does so many crimes and so they have to get talked about a lot.
This show here used to have a segment called Trump Crime Update Time. Remember? It was so fun! It came with a sound effect and everything (until he got reelected and took over the justice system and was now see here fellas. I ain’t never done a crime, ya see? Jeffery Epstein. I hardly know-stein.)
Look, I realize a man who chooses to wear obscenely long ties and seemingly only takes questions from the press while standing in front of the world’s loudest engines is hard to take seriously.
And I know you come here for the yolks and to hear the news in a way that’s not meant to scare you. And that’s not what I’m doing here.
But I am taking this attack on free speech very seriously and believe you should as well.
Texas A&M President Steps Down
-via Texas Tribune
In vaguely related news – Texas A&M President Mark Welsh will step down after a video went viral on TikTok of a student confronting a teacher in a children’s lit course.
What were they debating? The legality of teaching kids that there are more than two genders because of Trump’s executive order. I saw the video before this story came out – the student arguing with the teacher is the one filming it.
She wanted this to happen.
Instead of talking to her teacher or President Welsh, she chose this.
And I realize she is a child. She’s in college. Her brain is still developing. But I sure hope it develops faster because she ruined two people’s lives for nothing. There were no k-12 kids in the class! They were college kids taking a class.
The teacher was not initially fired, but when the video went viral, the President had no choice. Still, the fact that he waited was enough of a reason for Lt. Governor Dan Patrick and state House Rep Brian Harrison to start calling for Walsh’s call.
So now he’s out too.
Hey, is there like a second Earth situation where these people can get hired? And Kimmel and Colbert can get their jobs back? And if so… can I go?
NYC Officials Arrested
-via NY Times
On Thursday, eleven Democratic elected officials in New York City, including the comptroller as well as city and state lawmakers, showed up to a federal building in lower Manhattan to inspect the holding cells where ICE detains migrants.
The reason for the inspection is that they’ve gotten numerous complaints about being dirty and overcrowded. Last month, a federal judge ordered them to improve the conditions, so you know, why not show up?
I’ll tell ya why – ICE did not want them there. Following an hour-long standoff with Homeland Security, which runs ICE, a few of those 11 Democrats were eventually arrested. Another group of them were arrested around the same time while they joined with about 40 protested as they attempted to block garage doors at the same building. Those garage doors are used by the vans that carry detained immigrants.
They were released quickly and charged with a misdemeanor for blocking entrances and corridors.
UK, Australia, and Canada recognize Palestine
-via AP News
Over the weekend, the UK, Australia, and Canada made expected, though no less huge, international waves when they recognized a Palestinian state. On Sunday, Portugal joined them.
The stated intention of the move is to, according to Britain’s Prime Minister, “Revive the hope of peace and a two-state solution.”
France is expected to make the same announcement this week.
Obviously this displeased Israel’s Netanyahu but, you know… okie doke. He’s also doing genocide so we’re not here to make friends.
The legacy of Israel is one of a place for Jewish people to be Jewish safely. People within Israel deserve to be safe and feel safe. And prosper and grow and be able to be in one place for as long as they want, for as many generations they you want. And Israel has a right to defend itself.
But Palestinians are owed those same rights.
Hamas attacked Israel on October 7th, 2023. Israel had a right to defend itself from further attacks from Hamas. Instead, the government has used that as an excuse to carry out a genocide against the people in Gaza.
These countries recognizing Palestine is significant, but the fact remains that little will change unless the United States comes on board. And the United States will not come on board while we have the President we have.
So, you know… almost one year down, three to go…
CA Bans ICE Masks
-via CBS News
And finally, on Saturday California’s governor Newsom signed five bills collectively called the No Secret Police Act, which is meant to curb the power of ICE and other federal officers that the Trump administration is sending to California at-large and Los Angeles specifically.
Among those five bills, one bans federal and law enforcement from wearing masks while on duty. Great! You’re brave. You made this choice… why hide? Say it with your chest. They must also be identifiable by badge number and name.
The act will go into effect… January 1st? My guy! No, I’m kidding. I mean, they do go into effect January 1st but that’s just how laws work. Big big bummer because that’s still pretty far and they’re still out here in the streets kidnapping our neighbors. And I say kidnapping because that’s what it looks like when you cover your face and badge and just throwing people in vans because the Supreme Court said you could do racism.
And that’s it. That’s the news.
I’m sure there was more but everyone was covering the Charlie Kirk funeral. Some were covering it live.
He was a podcaster!
Don’t look at the pictures – it’s uh… you know what. No. Let them grieve. Let them gather and cult and we will do our thing, which is… not that. That’s for sure.
I’m proud of ice cream cone. A fresh waffle cone? Are you kidding me? Name something better in the world. In the entire world.
Yeah I can name hundreds but still… a fresh waffle cone is pretty good.
But more than that, because not unlike an ice cream cone you, too, hold me together (and you’re just so sweet!)… I’m proud of you.