10/15/26
Title
Wooden Bird Toy
Good morning! It’s Thursday, October 15th.
Global Handwashing Day
Put those grubhands under some water. Please!
And now, the news.
Update: Russia’s Invasion of Ukraine
-via CBS News, Telegraph, and Axios
Starting with an update on Russia’s invasion of Ukraine.
Yesterday I mentioned that Trump made a deal with Putin and eased sanctions so that we can get diesel from them.
Well, it’s tricky to do that when Ukraine is attacking Russian oil refineries. But on the other hand… Russia has literally invaded Ukraine and just stolen some of their land. So, you know, the oil refinery thing is what’s working right now.
There’s an argument to be made that the Russian deal was a bad idea because we’re supposed to be supporting Ukraine, and by making the diesel deal (dealsel? Is that anything?) Trump sort of had us supporting Russia.
Or at least, taking it easier on them.
And instead of being like “hey, we don’t want to take it easier on them” Trump, I guess, leaned into it.
Because earlier this week, it appears the US failed to provide Ukraine with intelligence that Russia would launch ballistic missiles into Ukraine, which they did – Russia launched 39 ballistic missiles and more than 120 attack drones, killing six people and leaving 600,000 people without power.
The attack happened Sunday night, after Trump posted that Russia and Ukraine had agreed to an "energy ceasefire."
Hey, how’s that going?
Following that, Ukrainian officials said they were having technical difficulties with their Starlink, which is used in Ukraine for soldiers to communicate as well as carry out strikes.
In both cases, Starlink and the Trump administration say it’s a classic misunderstanding. Tech issues.
Ukrainian officials say they believe it was a warning.
Hey! Has anyone considered not letting one person control whether whole countries and militaries have access to the internet? Feels like a bad idea. Could just be me.
Rep. Ilhan Omar
-via NBC News
House Rep. Ilhan Omar, who was elected in 2018 and a member of The Squad – four liberal women elected in the House who were immediately targets of the Trump administration for being liberal, young, popular, and of course… not white, announced on Tuesday that federal agents had carried out search warrants on about a dozen people in what the DOJ says is an investigation into potential immigration-related crimes.
What kind of crimes?
One person familiar with the investigation it’s looking into Omar’s immigration status, including, but not limited to, her birthdate.
Omar was born in Somalia and moved to the United States with her family in the 1990s. She was naturalized when she was 17 years old, which means she was a kiddo and could have gotten citizenship through a parent.
So it sounds like, if they’re looking into her birthdate, they think maybe she lied about her age so that she could get the citizenship through a parent instead of on her own.
So here’s where I’m coming from… Omar has been the target of the Trump administration for nearly a decade. People have said some really gross, racist, stuff about the way she became a citizen here.
If she’d lied about her citizenship, or even her age, I think people would have already discovered this. Kind of like how people tried to pretend like Obama wasn’t from America – I think, at some point in his political career and all the background checks that happen, someone would have been like “huh. Well this seems silly.”
I’m not even trying to be political about it, I’m saying if we just put a little critical thinking noggin on, I have a hard time believing these so-called whistleblowers would have waited this long.
The problem, however, is that someone will likely ask for her birth certificate, as has happened in the past. But, as Omar has pointed out in the past, because of the civil war in Somalia, she (like many others) doesn’t have access to her birth certificate because that infrastructure just isn’t there.
But that doesn’t mean she committed a crime.
In a statement, Omar said: “Make no mistake: this is an attempt to target political enemies and weaponize federal law enforcement. For ten years, Trump has targeted me with baseless lies and smear campaigns. This is just the latest escalation in his campaign of political intimidation.”
And to make it more obvious what this is really about… her cell phone was taken when they searched her phone.
I don’t care what side of the political spectrum you land on, this is wrong and should be a much bigger deal than people are currently making it.
But now that I’m talking about it on this, the world’s most popular podcast, that’ll change.
DOJ Threatens California
-via AP News
In related news, Trump’s DOJ has threatened California with legal action over make believes.
What are make believes?
Well, they’re saying California has a whole lotta noncitizens on its polls and they’re worried that, for the very first time in the history of the country, we will see fraud by voters at such a rate that it would change an election.
Literally never happened before.
You’d have to multiple the rate of fraud by at least 231,507!!
Because yes, there are instances of noncitizens registering to vote.
73, in fact.
Since 1996, 129 total noncitizens have been charged with casting a ballot. 73 were convicted.
Since 1996, there have been 15 national elections. 8 presidential, 7 midterms.
In those 15 elections, 1.69 billion votes were cast.
The rate of fraud by noncitizens there? 0.0-0-0-0-0-432%
Five zeroes before the one!!
But the administration is so worried about an imagination (something they don’t have) that they’ve told the state that officials in LA County were sent a password-protected thumb drive containing a list of names the federal government believes are likely noncitizens who were sent ballots to participate in the Nov. 3 election.
Are you kidding me? My city? LA? We are but a city of angels! We’re never done anything wrong in our lives!
The LA County Registrar has confirmed that they received the hard drive but, given that it was just a hard drive with a handwritten password, he didn’t consider it to be a secure device and hasn’t opened it yet.
Here’s a thought – instead of worrying about what we’re doing here in California, you keep our names out your mouth, stop trying to steal an election, and instead come up with an idea to help voters.
But you can’t.
So instead they’re doing this ridiculousness.
To which I say… screw em. Vote even harder.
Kelly and the Bird
-via NBC News
And of course I need to cover the most important story happening right now…
On Saturday, America’s first idol (my actual, for real, big sister and constant reminder that voting works and we should just switch to the popular vote and drop the Electoral College) Kelly Clarkson attempted to buy a wooden bird form a toy store in New York.
She had a bad experience (nobody wants to work anymore) and I think for the first time in her public life, took to Twitter to talk about it. Like, I looked… I couldn’t find anything (except obviously her public feud with Clive Davis who told her to shut up and sing and said My December, an album so great I literally named my book after it, would never have a single except for Never Again which isn’t even the best song but ANYWAY)
She made a comment that she went to the store, tried to buy this wooden bird toy but they treated her, in her words, like Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman and basically said she was too poor to buy it.
Big mistake. Huge.
But now it’s turned into a thing and at first the store was like “and that bird isn’t even for sale!” and now they’re like “actually? That bird IS for sale… for $15 million.”
If I were here, I’d buy it. She can afford it from my streams, probably.
The owner, who is the author of a moderately successful kids book so he’s trying to pretend like “oh I’ve never even heard of a dollar bill” but he’s literally a multimillionaire, is now coming out to say that "Kelly Clarkson has put us in danger.”
His people are getting harassed in the streets.
Are they?? Do people in the streets just know what your employees look like? Then he tried to get the public’s pity by saying he was recovering from surgery and supposed to be at home. Which is true; he had a spot of localized skin cancer removed on his nose (early detection saves lives. See a dermatologist if you see something new on your skin), and I’m genuinely in no way joking about that. But he then went on to say “I’m supposed to be having stitches removed today but I’m here.”
It’s stitches! And then “here” he was… was doing press.
So the point is… I think she should buy the bird but I don’t want this multi-millionaire who’s playing games with America’s first and best Idol so get $15 million.
And this has been a new segment called: Always on Brand.
And that’s it. That’s the news.
I’m proud of Kelly Clarkson. Always, but particularly right now. She’s just like us, ya know (except for a voice that defies science. That’s not like all of us.)
I’m also proud of people washing their hands.
It’s important.
But more than washing their hands, because you’re healthier than any soap ever… I’m proud of you!!