02/17/26
Good morning! It’s Tuesday, February 17th.
Chinese New Year!
2026 is the year of the fire horse! Because not only are there 12 animals that the years can be associated with (I was born in the year of the rat, thanks for asking, by the way), but there are also five elemental signs – wood, earth, water, metal, or… fire.
A fire horse year is rare, occurring every 60 years, and symbolizes rapid change, intense passion, and unpredictable, high-energy events.
Super cool! Super, super… cool.
If you’re doing the math, the last fire horse year was 1966.
Welp.
And now, the news.
Shooting in Rhode Island
-via NBC Boston
We start how we start here in America – with two people dead and three others injured after a shooter, who is also dead, opened fire at an ice rink where a high school hockey game was taking place.
None of the players were shot.
It appears this was a targeted incident, perhaps a family dispute, but it is still being investigated.
Since You’ve Been Gone…
-via PBS, The NY Times, and The Hill
I had to take last week off suddenly because, you know, germs. So, to misquote the scholar Kelly Clarkson,
Since I’ve been gone…
We’re in another government shutdown!
What a silly government we have!
As you may recall, the government is mostly funded. Mostly. They previously were on a partial shutdown because a few spending bills needed to be voted on and Republicans wanted them to be voted on in whole, including DHS spending. Democrats wanted to make that a separate conversation, because of the whole “Republicans seem very cool with ICE agents shooting people dead in cold blood in the middle of the streets and then lying about it” …thing.
Ultimately that did get signed off on, and it was decided that the spending bills would be voted on separately, with the vote on DHS taking place, well, now.
Which meant the partial government shutdown we saw two weeks ago was only because they decided too late to parse out those votes. Well, that and Speaker Johnson was like “we’re going to vote on reopening the government asap, don’t you worry, my babies.” But then, for some reason, it wasn’t the first vote up that week.
I mention that element because the government is in a partial shutdown again, and this time it’s for a good reason. The democrats, not brag, do not stand on business as much as I believe they should. But, currently, they are standing on the right side of history.
Among the demands on the Democratic side, they want ICE agents to be big and brave and remove their masks and display their ID numbers (if you’re so proud of what you’re doing, do it. Take off your mask. Come on big boy, take your mask off. Say it with your chest.). They also want them to wear body cameras and comply with judicial warrants for arrests on private property.
Literally not even insane asks. I don’t think they’re going far enough! The Republicans are forcing a partial government shutdown because they’re big mad that ICE agents might have to comply with the Constitution. (Judicial warrants are a part of the Constitush.)
As far as the masks go, Border czar Tom Homan says, “I don't like the masks, either.” Adding, “These men and women have to protect themselves."
From whom, Tommy? They are the ones doing murder in the streets!
Now, you may notice that today is Tuesday. …such a stupid way to say this next part. Hey! Not sure if you were aware it’s Tuesday. Good thing I’m back to tell you these things!
Anyway, yesterday was a holiday and so the House and Senate – well they’re out this week! That’s why I mentioned that thing about Speaker Johnson not being in any rush to open the government last time it was closed. He is so lazy!
Because don’t forget that a few months ago, when we were in a full shutdown, the longest in history, the House stayed closed (didn’t need to! Could have been open!) because Speaker Johnson kept it closed that time too. Granted it wouldn’t have necessarily gotten the government reopened, but still. (although he did it that time because if he’d reopened the House he would have had to swear in House Rep. Grijalva, knowing that when he did so, she’d be the final signature to move the Epstein files forward so in this case Speaker Johnson did it to protect a dead child rapist and everyone connected to those crimes, including the president. Don’t worry, we’ll talk about that next!)
Anyway, isn’t it wild that the government is in the middle of a partial shutdown and both the House and Senate are like – eh. Weeklong vaca.
I’m at work today. Not sure about you.
Epstein Files
I got hit so hard by a cold last week that I genuinely could not record the news. And at no point was it a bigger, more significant bummer than when Pam Bondi took the seat for her House Judiciary Committee testimony.
There’s a link in show notes. Click at your own risk because just seeing a picture of her smug face, knowing how she acted in the hearing is like… flames. Flames on the side of my face.
She was brought in to talk about the extreme mishandling of the Epstein files. It’s not a suggestion that these files need to be made public. It is a law. But she has decided, for some reason, to live her life as someone who wants to protect the people who committed these horrific crimes.
That’s a choice she made.
Other choices she made? To open her mouth any chance she got.
For example, Representative Jayapal asked her to apologize to surivivors for the DOJ’s "absolutely unacceptable release of the Epstein files and their information." To which, she said: "I'm not going to get in the gutter for her theatrics."
Adding, if I wanted to be in a gutter, I would have accepted Kristi Noem’s dinner invitations.
Representative Massie was one of the only Republicans to talk about the Epstein files (never underestimate the chickenness of the Republicans). He called out the DOJ for over-redacting the criminals, while failing to redact many victims.
Bondi called him a failed politician with Trump derangement syndrome.
She asked if he demanded the same transparency from Merrick Garland, to which he responded: "This cover-up spans decades, and you are responsible for this portion of it."
She unraveled so hard.
It was a delight.
At one point she was just shouting, “Have you apologized to President Trump? Have you apologized to President Trump, all of you?”
Baby, what?
Then she started talking about the Dow for some reason, and it was out of nowhere, so Jamie Raskin started laughing, and then she just became the person shouting: “I don’t know why you’re laughing. The Dow is over 50,000 right now. The S&P at almost 7,000, and the Nasdaq smashing records. That’s what we should be talking about!”
Okay well you are involved in the cover up of the rape and murder of girls. Children. You’d have to be an actual monster to be like – but at least we’re all making money!
Though, I guess that’s what the vibes were like on the island so, you know…
Like, who cares?
Then of course, came this big moment when Bondi, who knows what’s in those files said: "There is no evidence that Donald Trump has committed a crime."
She continued on: "Everyone knows that," she added emphatically. "This has been the most transparent presidency... He is the one who asked that those files—”
But uh oh, because Ted Lieu stopped her: "I'm going to put up another document from a witness who called the FBI's National Threat Operation Center because I believe you just lied under oath."
She responded super normal to that – yelling (always with the yelling. My dude – there’s a microphone. You’re unhinged already. You sound worse when you yell!)
Calmly, which is much cooler looking, Lieu responded: "I believe you just lied under oath, and this is all on videotape."
And before I go on, what I’m going to repeat is graphic but I don’t want to skip it because what the president is being accused of is horrific. He is a horrific horrible person. In general. I’m not even talking about the politics that I find horrific. I’m talking about the words we’ve all heard him use. The way he disregards anyone other than himself. He literally refused to apologize for posting a video featuring a clip of the Obamas as apes.
He is a white supremacist.
But I think it’s fair to warn you that what he’s being accused of here is graphic. It’s exactly what you think it is and, actually, worse. So if you want to skip ahead 30 seconds, just to protext yourself. Have at it.
But as Bondi mumbled something unintelligible and (presumably unintelligent) into the mic, Lieu continued: "I'm showing you here is a witness statement who called into the FBI's threat operation center. He drove Donald Trump around in a limo. He overheard what Donald Trump said to Jeffrey on his cell phone. He was so angry he was going to stop a limo and hurt Donald Trump. And he met a girl who said she was raped by Donald Trump and Jeffrey Epstein. She later had her head blown off and officers at the scene said that could not have been suicide. No one, no one at the Department of Justice interviewed this witness."
No one interviewed this witness.
There is a special place in hell for Epstein and everyone else who committed these crimes.
But having full, unredacted access, and continuing not to investigate any of it?
May she, and all the rest of them, live a long, restless, sleepless life where peace continues to evade her at every turn before she finds her own special little place.
Speaking of the files… Congressmembers are now able to see the unredacted files by making an appointment. They cannot take any recording devices, including their cell phones, into the DOJ reading room. But they can take notes.
However, many congressmembers are noting that they are being given unique logins that they don’t even know and it does appear that the DOJ is spying on them as they read through the files, looking at what they look at.
So that’s… creepy and illegal!
Nancy Guthrie
-via ABC News
Speaking of creepy and illegal…
The search continues for Nancy Guthrie, Savannah Guthrie’s 84-year-old mother who was kidnapped on February 1st in Tuscon, Arizona.
In the latest piece of information, it sounds like the clothes the suspect was wearing at the time of the kidnapping were bought from Walmart. I’m not a CSI, so I’m not sure what that really does for the investigation. But it does further prove a hypothesis of mine which is… nothing good happens at Walmart.
A glove found about two miles from her house appears to match the type of glove worn by the man seen in the security footage. It has been sent off for DNA testing.
Someone better return that lady today or I’m about to go find her myself.
Hollywood Deaths
And ending with some very sad news (not that the rest of the episode’s been an up, but you know what I mean) – while we all still mourn Katherine O’Hara, last Wednesday, Dawson’s Creek’s James Van Der Beek died at age 48 after being diagnosed with colorectal cancer in November of 2024.
And on Monday, Robert Duvall died at 95.
Many of you may know that this podcast only exists because my best friend Zazz asked me to tell her the news. These episodes are for her, you can just listen if you want.
We actually did a Dawson’s Creek rewatch podcast a few years ago, called Dawson’s Darlings. Because she’d never seen the show and it was vital to me when I was in jr high. And because we’re obsessed with each other, so it was only a matter of time before we did a podcast together.
Famously, they never knew what to do with Jen’s character after the first season (which is insane because it’s Michelle Williams. She can do anything!) which means, spoiler alert I guess if you’ve never seen a show from the 90s, they killed her off in the finale. Insane choice. Terrible!
But it led to this line that at the time I, admittedly, was like: eh.
But now, I gotta say… it hits.
"It's interesting how people use that expression, life and death. As if to imply that life is the opposite of death, but birth is the opposite of death. Life... has no opposite."
Life has no opposite.
And that’s it. That’s the news.
I’m not proud of Pam Bondi.
Yikes.
I’m proud of fire horses. Bring on that radical change, baby.
But more than fire horses.
Because you are the change of 10,000 fire horses… I’m proud of you.