03/25/26
Good morning! It’s Wednesday, March 25th
International Waffle Day
So don’t waffle about, make sure you celebrate.
And now, the news.
Iran
Starting, of course, in Iran where, according to two sources that spoke with CBS News, the Pentagon is preparing to send a TBD number, but less than 1,500 members of the Army’s 82nd Airborne Division to the Middle East.
But don’t worry, things are going great between the United States and Iran. This is a real quote from the real president of the United States: "They did something yesterday that was amazing, actually, they gave us a present. And the present arrived today. It was a very big present worth a tremendous amount of money. And I'm not going to tell you what that present is, but it was a very significant prize. And they gave it to us. And they said they were going to give it, so that meant one thing to me — we're dealing with the right people."
He says it was oil and gas related.
Not sure why he needs to deal with anyone at all, because also according to Trump: "This war has been won. The only one that likes to keep it going is the fake news."
Oh, okay. War over then. Don’t think at all about the start of this story when I said an unknown number, but less than 1,500 troops are headed to the Middle East.
Yesterday there was a bit of a misunderstanding over whether Trump was actually having any type of conversation with anyone in Iran or not.
However, on Tues we learned that Veep Vance as well as Secretary of State Marco Rubio are leading the talks, and in Iranian source told CNN that they are willing to listen to “sustainable” proposals to end the war.
So no one worry about! JD Vance is on the case!
Epstein Files
-via ABC News
On Tuesday, the House Oversight Committee released the deposition videos of two key witnesses to all of Epstein’s crimes – his attorney and an accountant.
And would you like to hear something wild? They were never questioned by federal authorities!
The two men said their relationship with Epstein was strictly professional and they didn’t participate in any of the crimes, but they stuck with him past his 2008 plea deal when the world learned that he was a pedophile. So anyone who maintained any type of relationship with him past 2008 doesn’t have any leg to stand on.
When asked why they continued to work with him after those crimes, one of the men simply said they believed Epstein when he said he wouldn’t do it again.
Honestly, the depositions just paint the picture of two men who didn’t want to see what was right in front of them and say they regret it now. Whether they do regret it or now, I can’t say. But it really was just a matter of choosing not to see something right in front of their faces.
Anyway… Trump, next?
Meta Loses in Court
-via The Guardian
In New Mexico, a jury has ordered Meta, the company that owns Facebook and Instagram, to pay $375m in civil penalties after finding that the social meeds needs company misled customers about the safety of their products and enabled hard, including child sexual exploitation.
In a statement, New Mexico’s AG said: “Meta executives knew their products harmed children, disregarded warnings from their own employees, and lied to the public about what they knew. Today the jury joined families, educators, and child safety experts in saying enough is enough.”
The next phase of this will start May 4th when the AG’s office will seek additional financial penalities and charges to the platform that will “offer stronger protections for children.”
This AG is Raul Torrez, and he is the same person who has reopened the investigation into Jeffrey Epstein’s Zorro Ranch.
Remember his name. I suspect a promotion is in his future.
Minnesota Sues Trump
-via AP News
Moving from New Mexico to Minnesota, and boy are my arms tired! And cold!
On Tuesday, Minnesota officials announced that they are suing the Trump administration in order to receive access to the evidence they need for an independent investigation into three shootings, including the murders of Renee Good and Alex Pretti.
The Trump administration believes they don’t have the jurisdiction to do the investigation. The officials disagree, on account of it being, you know… their state.
It should be noted that, although Trump has said that he’s ordered ICE and CPB to ease up in Minnesota, and although the media has had to focus on other things… ICE has not, in fact, eased up there. They are very much still there. Minnesota is still dealing with a very serious situation.
Democrat Wins in Florida
But because we could all use a little light in the dark, how about this…
Tuesday was election day in America (aka my favorite day) and how do you like this… Emily Gregory won her special election, flipping a red state house seat blue. The previous tenant won by 19 points, Gregory took those 19 points back and won by an additional 2.4 points.
What makes this story extra special? Why are we talking about a state legislative house seat? Because this formally deep red, now blue, seat is in Florida. And it’s district encompasses many a thing. Many a home. Many a club.
But there is only one… Mar a Lago.
That’s right! The deeply red district that swung 22.4 points (at least!) to the left to give a Democrat, and a lady Democrat at that, the win is none other than Donald Trump’s home district!
We love to see it!
Did Donny vote? You bet he did. How did he vote? He voted… by mail. The very thing he calls cheating. He literally, the day before the election, meaning he’d already done it himself, said this: “Mail-in voting means mail-in cheating. I call it mail-in cheating, and we got to do something about it all.”
This guy sucks!
Anyway, this win is cool.
And that’s it. That’s the news.
I’m proud of Emily Gregory. We love to see it.
Also waffles. We’re talking about a food with butter pockets. Do you understand? It’s a pancake with pockets made for butter.
Find me something better.
Easy… more than butter pockets, because you’re the one thing I’ll never waffle on… I’m proud of you.