04/16/25

Good morning! It’s Thursday, April 16th

International Documentary Day

Oh I have a great recommendation for you. Have you seen… Realizing Reality? That’s an inside joke for no one except for me. It’s a documentary I made in film school about reality TV. 

And now, the news.

Update: Iran

-via AP News and The Guardian

Starting in Iran, where US Treasury Secretary Scott Bessent is feeling a little left out of the fight, I guess, and said that the United States is preparing to levy new sanctions against any financial institutions that do business with Iran. And that, I guess, is the “financial equivalent” of the bombing.

Is it though?

I would say probably not. 

Opponents believe this is, perhaps, not a good idea, saying this could cause further divide with allies that we’re trying hold onto by the skin of our teeth.

Side note… what a weird saying.

Teeth don’t have skin. If you’re teeth have skin, you’ve got yourself a whole other problem.

Anyway, tariff attorney Daniel Pickard paid it out pretty clearly: “A lot of our trading partners have been outspoken in regard to their opposition to the conflict in Iran. Most economic sanctions professionals would agree that when you get more people on the team, the chances of your economic sanctions being effective or greater.”

Even Republicans are against it.

But not Trump. Because it has the word tariff in it. So we’ll see…

Something kind of cool though, in get caught trying news – House Dems filed six articles of impeachment against Pete Hegseth on Wednesday. They are for the following:

Unauthorized War and Endangered Troops: aka starting the military conflict Iran without congressional authorization, putting U.S. service members at risk.

Violations of Law of Armed Conflict: aka the first strike in the Iran conflict, which was on a school for girls, and resulted in the death of between 175 and 180 people.

Reckless Handling of Classified Info: aka SignalGate aka the time he told classified secrets in a group chat

Obstruction of Congress: aka anytime Congress was like ,“Hey pal, can we ask you some questions about the above?” he was like, “Look over there!” and then ran real fast away.

Abuse of Power and Politicization: aka things like trying to reduce Sen. Mark Kelly’s (he is a retired US Navy Captain) military rank and cut his pension for telling military servicemembers not to disobey the Constitution.

Disrepute Upon the U.S.: aka bombing boats and they saying “trust me. They have drugs on them. Just… trust me.”

Pretty serious allegations.

The House just needs a simple majority for him to be impeached there (you know, like Trump was. Twice.)

For him to be removed from office, he would need a supermajority in the Senate. So it’s unclear if it has a path to success in the House. It’s hard to see it making it through the Senate. 

But that doesn’t matter. Make Republicans vote. Make them look at all of this evidence and say, on the record, for all of history – that they were okay with that. Simply because it’s party over everything. 

If they’re going to act like it, make them say it.

Get caught trying.

Live Nation? More Like Bad Nation

-via ABC News

On Wednesday, jurors in Manhattan ruled that Live Nation and its subsidiary Ticketmaster, when you get all your tickets for all your things, including your Kelly Clarkson concerts in Vegas this summer, monop’d (that’s a fun way to say monopolized and I think we should start using it) the market and made it harder to other companies to get in there and also overcharge for tickets and fees.

Last month the company struck a deal with the government, wherein they could admit to no wrongdoing (and they were like aw shucks! We really wanted to admit to that part!) and now a judge will decide Live Nation should pay. 

The jury decided that Ticketmaster overcharged customers by… are you ready for this… I want you to think about any time you have ever purchased a ticket on Ticketmaster. Just like, go with your heart, what do you think the jury, who I’ll help you out a little bit here and give you this hint: I don’t think anyone on that jury has ever been to a concert… how much do you think the jury ruled that Ticketmaster overcharged customers by?

Are you ready? You’re not and I’m not going to make you wait a long time because you’re never going to guess anyway…

$1.72 per ticket.

$1.72!! 

Really rough… because you know they looked at all of the prices and took the average but dang… I can tell you that my tickets weren’t on the lower end of the fees, that’s for sure.

Anyway, be on the lookout for your $1.72 per ticket I guess.

Don’t spend it all in one place.

Voter Motivation

-via CNN

This next segment doesn’t really have any news in it, necessarily, but I’m calling it: voter motivation. In an interview on Wednesday, Trump started chirping about the Supreme Court, where he has appointed 1/3 of the judges, because he was asked about the possibility that Samuel Aleako might step down by the end of the year. 

He said: “Ginsburg could not do it, and she really hurt herself within the Democrat Party.”

First of all… I named my cat after her, so keep Ruth Bader Ginsburg’s name out of your mouth. Because there is nuance there. And honestly, I don’t know, based on Mitch McConnell, who at this point is just Weekend at Bernie’s-ing his time in the Senate, if you guys would have let Obama pick a new justice. Why? Because Justice Scalia died in February of 2016 and McConnell was like – it’s too soon!! We can’t possibly have a new justice!!

And then RBG died on September 18th 2020 and Trump was like “GET ME A BLONDE WOMAN WHO ALSO HAVE THREE NAMES” and she was sworn in on October 27th

So fix your poorly blended face before you talk about her. 

“She decided that she was going to live forever, and about two minutes after the election, she went out, and I got to appoint somebody.”

Also… it was before the election. But he doesn’t understand where is in time and space anymore because he is actually, literally, medically, in scientific decline. 

But doesn’t that enrage you? Aren’t you SO mad hearing those quotes?

We have to win the House and Senate. It might not fix the Supreme Court (but winning the presidency will), but winning back Congress gives us a chance against this outrageous Court.

Also! There are other judges being appointed by other people than the president and we want the right people making those decisions.

El Oh El JD Vance

-via NY Times

And finally, because that last segment really sucked, so let’s bully JD Vance to feel better (we bully the bullies here. It’s a core principle of the show.)

On Tuesday, JD Vance was talking WWII (like all cool guys do) to defend the conflict in Iran. And, as you know, the Pope and Trump… they’ve got beef.

And JD Vance is Catholic. As is the Pope.

Famously.

I would say, probably, the most famous Pope. 

And lately the Pope has been speaking out against the war, saying, disciples of Christ are “never on the side of those who once wielded the sword and today drop bombs.”

In response, Vance said: “Was God on the side of the Americans who liberated France from the Nazis? I certainly think the answer is yes.”

Which… that’s… omg talk about being dense and misunderstanding (on purpose). 

And then he added this little cherry on top: “In the same way that it’s important for the vice president of the United States to be careful when I talk about matters of public policy, I think it’s very, very important for the pope to be careful when he talks about matters of theology.”

First of all – the vice presidency and the Pope-tatorship are not the same thing! Not equivalent. 

Also… how come it’s only important for you and it’s “very very” important for the Pope?

Also, you’re talking about public policy. That’s like… that’s policy that affects the public. 

That’s different than theology – the study of God and religious belief. Of which the Pope is probably well versed.

Are you… the dumbest VP we’ve ever had?

Also, you’ve been VP over the course of two Popes. Neither of them liked you. And you killed one of them. I’d be real careful how you talk about religious figures here dude. Cause it sort of sounds like you think you’re better than the Pope.

You’re not. You’re just… you’re just not.

That’s it. That’s the news.

I’m proud of the Pope. Specifically for putting up with Veep Vance and Trump. I’m sorry Pope. But you get it. You’re from here. You know what we’re dealing with. 

Also documentaries. Hey, what a great time to again tell you to watch Come See Me in the Good Light! It was just so beautiful.

But more than the genre of documentaries, because if I made a documentary about you, it would be called… “this is the greatest documentary of all time” and people would be like, we hate the title, and I’d be like, just wait until you see the movie, and they’d be like, I’m not watching this movie because you’re being so weird about the title, and I’d be like, that’s okay I didn’t make if for you anyway. And because it would still be a good documentary… I’m proud of you.