05/14/26

Good morning! It’s Thursday, May 14th

Bond With Your Dog Day

Did a dog write this? “Oh, yeah sorry you gotta do more bonding with me. More fetching – it’s the law today. Ruff ruff”

And now, the news.

Boston Freeway Shooting

-via AP News

We start how we start here in America, after a man, who was previously convicted of firing a gun at police, fired more than 60 rounds at motorists on a busy road outside of Boston, hitting at least a dozen cars, and seriously wounding two drivers, before he was pulled over.

The man, 46-year-old Tyler Brown, was recently released from a psychiatric hospital. About an hour before this, he spoke with his parole officer and said that he’d relapsed and wanted to end his life.

Brown was deemed not medically ready to go to court for an arraignment. He faces two counts of armed assault with intent to murder and six other charges, including possessing a gun without a license.

Dems Pass Ukraine Aid

-via Axios

For the eighth time in his three years in charge, a discharge petition was used to allow House Democrats and Republicans to come together and say – hey little Mikey J – you might be the Speaker of the House, but you’re not actually in charge of everything. In the case, they used it to bring a vote to the floor on Ukraine aid. The vote itself likely won’t happen until after Memorial Day, but still… I think it’s funny that Speaker Johnson, for the rest of his life, gets to say he was Speaker of the House and, for the rest of his life, we get to say… yeah man, and you were very very bad at it.

SC Overturns Murdaugh Convictions

-via CBS News

This one’s wild – Alex Murdaugh, the South Carolina attorney who was found guilty of killing his wife and son (and was in jail on consecutive life sentences for those muckduks) had that conviction, and life sentences, overturned on Wednesday. 

He will get a new trial, which his lawyers pushed for because the counter clerk wrote a book, after the trial, about her time on the trial.

He will stay in jail for money crimes (oh yeah! He did money crimes in addition to murder crimes) while this new trial takes place.

How do you think the woman who wrote the book is feeling today?

Erik Fleming Sentencing

-via The Guardian

Erik Fleming, the licensed drug addiction counselor who acted as a middleman for the ketamine that was delivered to, and ultimately killed, Matthew Perry in October of 2023, has finally been sentenced – to two years. 

Fleming wouldn’t provide Perry with the ketamine. I mean, he did at first but when Perry wanted more, instead of this licensed drug addiction counselor looking at this person, who he considered to be a friend, and telling him no. Telling him that he loved him enough to piss him off. Telling him he loved him enough to risk the friendship. Celebrity or no… loving him enough to risk having him be mad at him for a bit because in that moment the last thing Perry needed was for another person in his life to just be nice to him… 

Instead of doing that, Fleming connected him to a woman prosecutors called the Ketamine Queen. 

Fleming would have gotten four years in prison, but was given less time since he was so cooperative, and gave up the Ketamine Queen immediately. And I’m sure he regrets what he did. I’m sure.

But man… this is someone who was supposed to be helping Matthew Perry. He literally said, “I thought I was doing a favor for a friend.” 

The better favor would have been to be just a little braver and stood up to him and for him. Everyone wants to be around the cool kids, but not when it comes to the hard stuff. 

Perry’s former assistant, who earned his trust, earned a place in his home, and who literally injected the deadly dose for him, will be sentenced in two weeks.

And that’s it. That’s the news.

No Kim, that can’t be it, said everyone. Including my co-worker Nicole, who was a little judgey when I said there wasn’t a lot of news today.

But here’s the thing – Trump’s headed to China. He’s not there as of this recording. There’s no change in Iran. You don’t have hantavirus… the point of this show is not to overwhelm you.

It’s just for you to feel perfectly whelmed and to go about your day. 

So that’s it. That’s the news. 

I’m proud of dogs. Obviously. Imagine not being proud of dogs.

But more than dogs, because just as much as it would be impossible to not be proud of a dog… I’m proud of you.