05/18/26
Good morning! It’s Monday, May 18th
International Museum Day
Hey, did you know that some museums are free? That’s crazy! People are out here paying millions for a Hockney and then just being like – and now you can see art for free.
This podcast is free. Is it… art? Is this… basically a Hockney?
And now, the news.
Austin Shootings
-via CBS News
We start how we start here in America, after four people were injured in at least ten, possibly twelve, random shootings, including at two fire stations, in Austin, Texas. Two people have been arrested so far – they are teens! A third is still on the loose.
A motive is not yet known.
Ten. Different. Shootings.
Ebola
-via BBC
And in international health news… You might not have the hantavirus, but do you have Ebola?
Calm down, you don’t have Ebola. I don’t think. Over the weekend, the World Health Organization (which we’re not even a part of anymore because some guy whose only friends are birds and thinks his family members are weird because they don’t have enough racoon peens or something was like – the WHO gives you restless leg syndrome), declared an Ebola outbreak in the Democratic Republic of Congo a public health emergency of international concern.
Here’s what that means:
Well, no actually. First, here’s what it doesn’t mean. It does not mean a pandemic.
So far, there are 246 suspected cases, with 80 deaths reported. Although the WHO is warning it could be "a much larger outbreak." There are no currently approved drugs or vaccines. That doesn’t mean there aren’t any, that means there aren’t any that are approved.
The cases have spread beyond the DR Congo, into Uganda. Countries bordering DR Congo are considered high risk, because of travel and trade. However, countries that don’t border the country should not close their borders because "such measures are usually implemented out of fear and have no basis in science".
Upon hearing that, RFK Jr was like “fear and no basis in science? That’s my specialty!”
Anyway, that’s where things stand right now. You don’t have hanta. You probably don’t have Ebola. But hopefully, regarding both of those outbreaks, the media and the virus can both chill out.
Idaho Crash
-via ABC News
In Idaho, two Navy jets crashed midair at the Gunfighter Skies Air Show on Sunday. The cause of the crash is still under investigation, but luckily all four pilots were able to eject from the jets in time and are in stable condition.
Update: Iran
And back to international news (bouncing all over the place on a Monday. Keepin you on your tippies.), on Sunday Trump took to Temu Twitter to say that the US, not Iran, is in charge of the Strait of Hormuz. Oh, is it now?
(It’s not)
He also said, "We wiped out their armed forces, essentially."
But then, in another post, he wrote: “For Iran, the Clock is Ticking, and they better get moving, FAST, or there won’t be anything left of them. TIME IS OF THE ESSENCE! President DJT.” So, once again, he’s threatening genocide. And of course, the White House had no comment on any of it.
Despite telling Congress that basically the war was over, so there was no need to take a vote on whether he was allowed to be doing war at all, late last week Trump said the military campaign would continue and, regarding Iran’s latest peace proposal: “Well, I looked at it and if I don’t like the first sentence, I just throw it away.”
Meanwhile, between Trump tweeting the US is running the Strait and that US armed forces have wiped out Iranian armed forces, while also threatening genocide, it’s no wonder why Iran’s foreign minister said they feel like they can’t trust the Americans at all.
Girl, preach.
Also, while looking up that Temu Tweet, I went on that horrible site Trump had made because he incited an insurrection and got kicked off of all the other social media sites (until they all welcomed his back because no one has a spine) and it remains horrible but there are all these posts where he called Venezuela the 51st state and others where the American flag is over the Middle East but with a bunch of arrows pointing to Iran.
And then multiple posts with him saying he’s aging in reverse. Literally, one says, “President Trump ages in reverse,” and the other says, “President Trump gets younger.”
He’s unwell. It’s wild.
Pay to Play
-via ABC News
Hey, speaking of that time Trump incited an insurrection… apparently, there is a political slush fund, to the tune of $1.7 billion, with a b, as in boy oh boy is this bad, sitting at the Department of Justice, that Congress never voted on (which they’re supposed to – Congress holds the ApplePaystrings), which hasn’t been created yet but is about to be…
When? Well Trump is going drop his $10 billion (what is with these villains and their billions?) lawsuit against the IRS, in exchange for the DOJ setting up this political slush fund.
So far? Bad! On it’s face, just like… you don’t even need more details to know, this one ain’t good.
And to make it worse, it sounds like the dollar dollar billz will be used to pay back the January 6th rioters.
I… imagine going back in time and telling the Founders about Trump. They’d be like… whoa. What’s up with all these women in pants? And also… this guy Trump is so bad! Their heads would spin all the way around. They’d be so mad, they’d wish we had more than one Black president rather than Trump (the joke there is that the Founders are really complicated people, and even though they did great things, a lot of them were still very racist).
Like… okay, Trump lost the election in 2020. He called a bunch of states and asked them to overturn the results and just let him have the election anyway. When that didn’t work, he incited an insurrection. All these blue lives matter flag humpers were out there assaulting police officers, literally to death in some cases. The Confederate flag ran through the Capitol building for the first time in history. Trump told those people he loved them. Congress made a half-chamber attempt to hold in accountable but Mitch McConnell said no, so although he was impeached (for a second time), he wasn’t kicked out of office and still about to run for office. This deeply broken country re-elected him. He pardoned all those insurrectionists on his first day in office, because he just couldn’t wait one more second. And now he’s literally doing quid pro quo, which was the thing that got him impeached the first time, to get all those insurrectionists cash money in hand.
And all of that is just a fact! None of that is hyperbolic, except when I called them blue lives matter flag humpers… I don’t know what they do with the flags behind closed doors. But based on how many clothing items and lifted pick-ups they put them on, I don’t think the rate of humping is zero.
It’s a Cult
-via CNN
And speaking of – how much longer is this guy’s presidency? Five million years?
On Sunday, the National Mall hosted about 15,000 for something called Rededicate 250. It was a day of worship and listen, it’s not my cup of tea but that doesn’t matter because we have a 1st Amendment. You get to have your religion or lack thereof, I get to have mine, everyone gets to do their own thing, the 1st Amendment very clearly notes a separation of church and state by noting that "Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion." That gives us the Establishment Clause and the Free Exercise Clause.
So Rededicate 250: A National Jubilee of Prayer, Praise & Thanksgiving. No problem there.
Except… it was backed by the White House through a mix of private donations and… taxpayer funds.
That’s right baybee – you and I paid!
An earlier, now deleted, planning post described the event as having a focus on “our heritage as a Judeo-Christian.” And out of the long list of faith leaders that were invited to speak, there was one Orthodox rabbi and two conservative Catholic bishops. The rest were evangelical Christians.
And to be so, so clear… that “Judeo-Christian” term? That’s a red flag itself.
On its face, people like Donald Trump will say it simply describes where Jewish and Christian beliefs overlap. Except… between the 1930s and 1950s, it also became shorthand for a particular vision of “American civilization” rooted in Christianity, Western identity, and whiteness.
“Judeo-Christian values” can sound inclusive. But historically, it’s often been used less as a theological term and more as a political and cultural one.
Because once Christianity stops being treated as a personal faith and starts being treated as a marker of who truly belongs in the nation, you’re drifting into White Christian nationalist ideology.
You can hold Jewish beliefs. You can hold Christian beliefs. You can hold both at the same time because there are absolutely areas where they overlap.
But the term “Judeo-Christian” is loaded, and it should make you pay closer attention.
Because a lot of the time, it’s being used to define who counts as a “real American” and who doesn’t.
And especially in this administration — where they’re already trying to sort people into categories based on race, immigration status, gender identity, and sexuality — that’s something we have to call out.
I don’t think 15,000 people went to the Mall on Sunday because they carry the same white nationalist beliefs that Trump has. But I think the Trump administration knew exactly what he was doing when they said what they said.
Virginia Supreme Court
-via NPR
And finally… remember in Friday’s episode when I said the Supreme Court was going to decide whether they would overturn the will of the voters and decide to just let every other state do gerrymandering but somehow when it comes to something that people voted on, that’s just a bridge too far or just, you know, not do that…
They… well on Friday I said you’d know how things went based on my vibe and, I’m sure you can guess.
Voters voted on it. It’s different. I don’t care if it’s this proposition or any other – it was on the ballot. And you know what? I’m getting real sick and tired of all these loser Republicans in power just deciding that if they don’t get what they want in an election, they’re going to cheat their way into a win. Buncha snowflakes.
I’m so glad I’m not that pathetic.
435 House seats. Every single one of them is up for grabs.
We’re going to fight for every single one of them.
And that’s it. That’s the news.
I’m proud of museums.
And this podcast. The Hockney of podcasts. Hey, you said it, not me.
But more than hockey (it rhymes with Hockney) – because you’d never party with Kash Patel… I’m proud of you.