05/05/26
Good morning! It’s Tuesday, May 5th
Cinco de Mayo!
Which means May 5th in Spanish! You’re welcome.
Cinco de Mayo celebrates Mexico’s 1862 victory over France at the Battle of Puebla during the Franco-Mexican War.
1862. I remember it well.
And now, the news.
Oklahoma Party Shooting
-via ABC News
We start how we start here in America – with at least 23 injured in a mass shooting that broke out Sunday night during what officials are calling an “unsanctioned” lakeside party just north of Oklahoma City, Oklahoma.
The party was advertised on social media and quickly turned into a free-for-all at the lakeside camping grounds, which hadn’t approved the party.
Police are still looking for a suspect as well as a motive.
Texas Shooting
-via Spectrum 1
And continuing on as we do in America…
Two teens were killed and another ten people were injured on Sunday night after two people opened fire on an apartment party in Amarillo, Texas. The shots were fired from outside of the building.
Suspects in this shooting have been identified. They went to a different party earlier in the night and were kicked out of that party before going to this one and opening fire.
What a time in America.
Today is the 125th day of the year. There have been 134 mass shootings so far this year.
Update: Iran
Moving to international news… The United Arab Emirates (aka UAE) said on Monday that Iran fired four missiles towards them, and said it was actively engaging with another “missile and drone strike.” As of this evening’s recording, about 15 in total have been sent over.
Iran has not claimed responsibility for these attacks, but if true, it would be the first time Iran has attacked a Gulf state since the ceasefire began last month.
And speaking of the ceasefire… Trump announced on Sunday that the US would guide ships through the Strait of Hormuz, calling it “Project Freedom.” (You know what would be real freedom? Freeing us from this presidency, amiright?)
On Monday, the US said two ships made it safely through the Strait, thanks to the help of our military. However, while that was happening, Iran fired at those ships.
In retaliation, US forces destroyed seven small Iranian boats. Or, as he likes to call them, “fast” boats. For real, that’s what he posted online: “We've shot down seven small Boats or, as they like to call them, 'fast' Boats.”
Yes, good. Smaller boats are faster than big boats. Gooooood.
Trump says strikes on those original two ships that kicked off the retaliatory attacks on the seven boats wasn’t enough to be considered a violation of the ceasefire. So at least there’s that? Though he did also say Iran would be "blown off the face of the Earth" if they target US ships trying to pass through the Strait.
So… super chill there.
As for the future of the war – Iran says it received a response from the US in regards to their 14-point peace plan. But over the weekend, Trump said he’s probably going to reject it anyway because Iran hasn’t “paid a big enough price."
Good stuff all around.
Leslie Knope Would Never
-via The Hill
This isn’t really anything but I would never not cover this. A federal judge on Monday refused to hit pause on Trump closing the East Potomac Golf Links, which I didn’t even know he wanted to do but apparently he wants to renovate them because he has the worst priorities (and taste. And sense of humanity. And he famously smells bad.)
Anyway, the judge didn’t hit pause because reports about the renovation plans didn’t really have enough in there to warrant in. But in her ruling she said: “I don’t want to be the overseer of Parks and Rec. I’m no Amy Poehler.”
No, you’re not. Because first of all… you’re thinking of Leslie Knope. The fictional, though not to me, character from the hit NBC television show Parks and Recreation. Whom Amy Poehler portrayed.
But neither Poehler nor Knope would have allowed this buffoonery to continue anyway!
And not for nothing, but this specific case would actually fall to Ron Swanson because at no point was he not in charge of the parks department, until he was in charge of a whole national park. And you better believe Ron Swanson would never allow this nonsense.
Nor would he have voted for Trump.
Learn some history!
SCOTUS v Voting
-via AP News and Washington Post
And we’re going to end on an up, I promise, but first we need to get through the dark forest that is the continued fallout (which will continue for decades, by the way. There is no overstating how bad what Justice Roberts’ court did here) of the Section 2 Voting Rights Act ruling.
Because now multiple states are going to meet this week to talk about possibly redrawing their maps ahead of the November election.
This is insanity. Pure insanity.
People have already campaigned for these districts! How is everyone not mad about this!
This is not what democracy looks like and this is not what patriotism looks like. These are scared little power-hungry losers that are scrambling because all they care about is being in charge, not actually helping anyone. And they are led by the biggest, most feckless, loser of them all.
They could have spent their time in office helping their constituents and earning their votes.
Instead, they’re doing this.
Cheating to win instead of working to earn your vote.
But they know they’re up against a big hard fight because Washington Post exclusively reported on Monday that the White House Counsel’s Office was already giving private briefings to officials about how to work with a democratic congress, in preparation for losing the midterms.
Because the more they cheat, the more we’re going to work to win.
Mifepristone Reprieve
-via AP News
And because we take our wins where we can get them… Justice Alito, surprisingly, ruled on Monday to temporarily restore nationwide access to Mifepristone.
His ruling restores access to the pill that is, inarguably, healthcare and in many cases, a lifesaving medication, for a week while both sides of the case respond and the Supremes can consider the case more fully.
So we have another week at least.
And that’s it. That’s the news.
Hey the Blake Lively and Justin Baldoni case is settled which means I get to continue not knowing anything about it. Honestly, I didn’t even try to follow it. Everything I learned about that case was against my will. It’s done now.
I’m proud of Amy Poehler. And Leslie Knope. BOTH. In their own special little ways.
But because if I counted the leaves of every single tree in every single national, international, and privatized forest in the entire world (except Eagleton – they’re heinous), it still wouldn’t match the number of things that are magical about you… I’m proud of you.