06/08/26
Good morning! It’s Monday, June 8th.
National Best Friend’s Day
Well. Well. Well.
What a great time to remind you (or, depending on how long you’ve been listening to this show slash known me in real life, annoy you) about the fact that this show was actually created for my best friend! Because what is friendship if it’s not being obsessed with each other to an unhealthy level?
She asked me if I could just tell her the news, because let’s face it – the news sucks, and I said yes because… obviously. And that was… Jesus. November of 2021. That’s WILD!
And it’s funny because I write this part of the show before I have any idea what the rest of the show is going to be, so I’m going to say this before I have any idea what’s going to immediately follow the opening music but the point of this show is just to make the news a little bit more manageable. A little less awful. As if your best friend were telling it to you. Because, well, I’m literally telling it to my best friend.
So, you know… tell your best friend. Or don’t. I’m not in charge of you!
And now, the news.
A Weekend of Mass Attacks
-via ABC News and The Guardian
Oh my god… you know what? I wrote that whole thing and I didn’t know what the first story was going to be. We gotta do a whoosh before the show really starts, sorry.
(WHOOSH)
We start how we start here in America, with at least 12 people wounded in Toledo, Ohio, after what appears to be a shootout at a community festival.
As of this recording, there is still an active search for the two people involved, but it does sound like this started because two people were shooting at each other and the 12 injured were collateral damage.
Of the 12, two are in critical condition.
And in New York’s Penn Station, at least six people were stabbed by a man experiencing homelessness.
None of the injuries appear to be life-threatening and the man has been arrested.
Earthquake in the Philippines
-via AP News
Early Monday morning, a 7.8 earthquake rocked the southern Philippines, setting off a tsunami warning on the coasts of Indonesia and Malaysia, with smaller waves possible in Taiwan, Japan, Guam, and Papua New Guinea. Those warnings were all lifted.
Man, I love Papua New Guinea. Well, let me clarify. I love saying Papua New Guinea.
Papua New Guinea.
Some power outages have been reported but so far, the reported property damage is very low and there haven’t been any reported deaths.
Unfortunately, this area is no stranger to disaster – they’re in an area known as the Pacific Ring of Fire, which is a pretty gnarly-sized (that’s a scientific term) 25,000-mile horseshoe-looking geological belt that surrounds the Pacific Ocean, following the edges of North America, Asia, and Oceania, and that Pacific Ring of Fire is where 90% of the earthquakes take place.
Fun fact – probably because Australia has enough to deal with (their spiders are SO big! And kangaroos seem cute but they’re vicious dude), although Australia is close to the Ring of Fire, it’s not included in it.
Update: Iran
And in Iran, on Saturday, the US military announced that, over the course of two days, it shot down six Iranian one-way drones that were headed towards the Strait of Hormuz, prompting Iran to accuse the United States of violating the ceasefire because, in retaliation, the military launched strikes on Iranian coastal surveillance radar sites.
Then on Sunday, Israel said Iran launched missiles at it for the first time since the ceasefire took place in April.
Trump immediately said “Netanyahu! Don’t do retaliation! And for sure people listen to me!”
To which Netanyahu… did retaliation, which Iranian state TV reported explosions in three different cities and the Israel Defense Forces confirmed: "A short while ago, the Israeli Air Force struck military targets belonging to the Iranian terror regime in western and central Iran.”
Earlier, Iran said that if Israel struck Beirut, it would renew a full-scale war. And then Israel launched an air raid on Beirut, killing at least two and injuring at least twenty.
This is all happening as I’m writing and recording this, so it’s unclear what the next steps are. In a perfect world, Iran and Israel have both gotten their shots in, and now maybe Pakistan and other mediators can convince them to go back to their corners.
But it remains to be seen.
Walkaway Don
-via NBC News
Trump went on Meet the Press on Sunday and it… didn’t go well.
I’m not going to go through the whole thing because it was riddled with lies, and as I have said, I will not carry water for this administration.
No, Iran’s military has not been completely obliterated by US forces.
Yes, Trump did withdraw from the nuclear deal and, prior to that, it’s true that Iran no uranium enriched beyond a low level and was subject to regular UN inspections. And yes, it’s true that while Trump says he withdrew to get a better deal, he still hasn’t gotten that better deal.
No, the FBI didn’t bring people to the Capitol on January 6th to pretend to do insurrection. The government entity that enticed the insurrectionists was the executive branch. As in… the president.
I’ll tell you what did carry water for the administration in the interview… the roof. It was raining outside and they had to stop a few times because the rain was so loud. Who in that production team chose a location with a tin roof?
Anyway, so the interview was already not going well, and then they got to the California elections (which is the next story, so no spoilers here!) and Trump immediately started in on his “everything is stolen. It’s stolen. The whole thing’s a lie. That’s why California hasn’t called the elections yet.”
Kristen Welker, who interviewed him, has got to have the best possible blood pressure medications because mine was through the roof on her behalf and she was doing great. I guess that’s why she’s there and I’m recording this from my childhood bedroom closet.
Don’t worry Kristen, there’s still time for you kid.
When asked for evidence of cheating, Trump said: “All I have to do is look. And I listen. I listen to people.”
Because you can’t prove something that doesn’t exist!
Then he started in saying she was either crooked or stupid. NBC was crooked. Also ABC and CNN. (He said nothing about Here’s What’s Happening so… I’m in the clear baybee!)
Finally he said, “You’re a one-sided crooked network. Let’s call it quits because I’ve had enough. Thank you, darling. Have a good time.”
The darling made me want to vom.
But then he got up, his lav mic fell off, and he stepped on it, breaking it (that’s L&D! That’s going to require multiple signatures!), and walked off.
He also, before he left, I don’t know why this is so funny, but he also said “I sat in the rain for an hour with you.”
Oh did you? Well Kristen Welker sat in the rain for an hour with you and who do you think had it worse? Famously, you smell bad.
Anyway, he’s becoming more unhinged. And he looked very bad. But sure, no one should ever ask a question about his health.
CA Election
-via NY Times
Election results are still coming in, in California but unlike last week’s episode, where I was dazed and confused (don’t have necks, they’re terrible), I can give you actual information now.
For the gubernatorial, Democrat Xaviar Beccera is officially in the general.
The fight for the next spot continues, with Republican Steve Hilton sitting 4.5 points ahead of Democrat Tom Steyer.
It’s hard to see how Steyer can overcome that big of a gap with 72% of the votes counted. I’m not calling the race quite yet, I think it’s too early to call, but I think it’s a tough road ahead for Steyer.
In Los Angeles, Nithya Raman has overtaken Spencer Pratt’s lead and KiMSNBC is officially calling that race. It’ll Karen Bass and Nithya Raman in the runoff. Pratt and Raman are just a few thousand votes apart as of this recording, but I expect that gap to increase.
83% of the vote is in there.
The Maine Senate primary is tomorrow, where we’ll see if voters are willing to take a chance on Graham Platner, the Democrat who got a tattoo that he says he later learned was a lesser-known white supremacist symbol, and got it covered up, and who recently has had three women that he’d previously had relationships with describe him as volatile and the relationship as “toxic.”
He’s going up against Janet Mills, the current governor of the state, to oust the perpetually concerned Susan Collins.
And that’s it. That’s the news!
This episode is too long already but I was talking about the Pacific Ring of Fire and so obviously I can’t not talk about the song Ring of Fire.
Fun fact - Ring of Fire is my 2nd favorite song. It used to be my favorite (since you asked!) but now Dawes’ All Your Favorite Bands is my favorite. But Ring of Fire was written by June Carter Cash, back when she was June Carter. She wrote it about Johnny, falling in love with him even though he was an absolute mess at the time.
June’s sister Anita recorded it first as “(Love’s) Ring of Fire” and Johnny told her she had six months with it - if it didn’t chart in six months, he was going to record it his way. (I can’t stress this enough - Johnny and June? Loved each other so, so much. And Johnny Cash is a legend who turned his life around but man, before he did… he wasn’t like… nice. I mean, she wrote it in the song but June really hated falling in love with him. Ugh… it’s so romantic though!)
Anyway, the song didn’t chart and Johnny yoinked that song. That’s when he had what he said was a vivid, and I’m sure totally sober, dream where the song had mariachi music in it. And that’s how he recorded it. Even though his producer tried to talk him out of it because, back then, the idea of putting a trumpet in country music didn’t sound right.
But that mariachi sound is what makes the song, and in the end it became one of the biggest hits Johnny ever had.
And now I want to go listen to that song.
And watch Walk the Line.
Let me tell you something… Reese Witherspoon really earned that Oscar.
Oh wait, can I tell you something else? (I can, because this is my show and this show is free) - you know in the Hurt music video, when June is on the stairs just watching Johnny on the guitar? She wasn’t going to be in the video at all but Mark Romanek, the director, saw June looking at Johnny just like that and he knew he had to add it.
People are complicated and he was not a good first husband, but dang if he didn’t get it right for the second round.
Okay now I’m really done.
National Best Friend’s Day!
Ashley Dylan Zazzarino… because you asked me to tell you the news way back in November of 2021, and now suddenly it’s June of 2026 and I’m sweating in the closet of my childhood bedroom that I’ve converted into a temporary recording booth so I can still record episodes while I’m visiting my folks…
And because I wanted to give you a nice long episode while you were out for a walk…
I’m proud of you.