03/06/36
Good morning! It’s Friday, March 6th.
National Day of Unplugging
…after you listen to this podcast on your phone
And now, the news.
Iran
Starting in Iran! I guess.
First, on Thursday, Pete Hegseth said this conflict has “only just begun” as Israel said they are moving into their “next phase”, which included launching attacks on a Beirut suburb that it considers to be a stronghold for Hezbollah.
In response to that attack, Hezbollah warned Israeli residents to leave the 3-mile area between Lebanon and Israel, saying, “The aggression of your army against Lebanese sovereignty… will not pass without a response.”
Speaking of responses, in a phone call with Time on Thursday, the president was asked if Americans should also be asked about retaliatory attacks.
And what did the president of the United States say? A man who was in New York on 9/11? The leader of this country? What did he say when asked about whether Americans should worry about the possibility of us being attacked?
“I guess. But I think they’re worried about that all the time. We think about it all the time. We plan for it. But yeah, you know, we expect some things. Like I said, some people will die. When you go to war, some people will die.”
I…
You get to go to a bunker.
If something real happens, like actually happens, you will be picked up and carried (you won’t get to put your little first in the air because your ear got apparently scraped even though it has literally no scar at all) to a bunker). You are one of the most well-protected people in the world.
You don’t get to say that! Not when you put us in this position! You don’t get to be flippant!
Speaking of being flippant, he also spoke with NBC News on Thursday. He told them he wants to see the structure of Iran’s leadership completely dunzo. "We want to go in and clean out everything."
Then he said, “We want them to have a good leader. We have some people who I think would do a good job.”
Now obviously, as anyone would, he was asked – hey, who do you think would make a good leader?
He didn’t say. But he said he’s making sure they make it through this war alive.
Then… and here’s where that comment about being flippant comes in… then he said: “I don’t know, but at some point they’ll be calling me to ask who I’d like,” before he added that he was “only being a little sarcastic when I say that.”
You don’t get to be a little sarcastic. A little. A lit. A smidgen.
None of it.
Not when you threw us into something like this.
Fear not, the House, not unlike the Senate, blocked the war powers resolution. So the president heads into the weekend with unchecked power.
Kristi Noem Fired
-via NPR and The Independent
Here’s something cool… on Thursday, Kristi Noem, noted dog and goat murderer, was fired for also being a terrible DHS leader.
And you wanna know how it happened? I know you do. She was speaking at the Sergeant Benevolent Association Major Cities Conference, which is an event that supports police officers and focuses on policing in urban areas so I’m sure we can all guess how that was going… and it was being broadcast live in Nashville.
And while that was happening, Trump posted on the ironically titled Truth Social that she’d been fired and would be replaced by Markwayne Mullin (more about him in a minute). He did it while she was at the event! And you know a LOT of those people follow Trump.
And, and!!!, he called her and told her just before she got out of her limo to go on stage and speak.
….pretty cool.
Okay now, less cool – who is Markwayne Mullin?
For starters, his first name is Markwayne. That’s two names. That’s lame.
He’s hardcore MAGA.
Prior to this, he was a Senator, hailing from Oklahoma.
Okay. He’s served in Congress since 2013.
Like many of Trump’s most loyal loyalists… he once had a talk show. It was a home improvement show.
He’s also a former MMA fighter. …neat. In 2023, he once offered, like literally stood up in the Senate and said Let’s do it and offered to fight the Teamsters' general president.
He’s called people on Medicaid lazy.
And he’s lightly floated the idea of shooting reporters who do fake news.
But then who will say your beard is cool Markuswayne?
Anyway, that’s Markwayne. By no means is he an upgrade. He’s just… a grade. But still… I think it’s important to remember that Kristi Noem got a whole new face to go work for Trump and then got first in a super embarrassing way.
And I think that’s neat.
She’s the first cabinet member to be first in Trump’s 2nd term. Look at that – women making history!!
The democrats say this is not enough to end the partial shutdown.
House Rep. Gonzalez Out
-via The Washington Post
Over there yonder, in Texas, House Rep. Tony Gonzalez has dropped his reelection bid after colleagues called on him to resign and the House Ethics Committee opened an investigation into him.
What exactly happened? Well it’s actually very sad.
Not about him! Trust.
But Gonzalez, who is a married man and has six kids, was having an affair with an aide. There are texts that show him asking inappropriate questions and for pics and with the aide responding, “This is going too far boss.”
The aide was also married and when her husband found out, they broke it off. After that, the woman died by suicide.
So… he’s done in politics.
And honestly, his wife should really eat, pray, love herself out of that situation.
In Tuesday’s primary, he didn’t surpass enough votes to win the primary and, had he not stepped down, he would have entered into a runoff. Instead, a YouTuber named The AK Guy will be the Republican on the ticket because we live in hell.
Leave Britney Alone
-via ABC News
And in Ventura County, Britney Spears was arrested for driving under the influence. She was, luckily, alone in the car and, again, luckily, was stopped before she injured herself or anyone else.
I don’t really have anything to add here except that all you can do in a situation like this is hope that this is finally a wake up call.
And whatever her punishment is, her dad should also be forced to serve that time as well. Because in his own special little way, he is 100% responsible for this.
And that’s it. That’s the news.
I’m proud of… phones. I’m sorry, I will never unplug mine. One, because I would get fired. But also because I like it too much. Do you understand how much it does for me? How much Parks and Rec it shows me?
But more than all the phones in all the world, because you probably would show me Parks and Rec too, if I asked… I’m proud of you.