04/02/26

Good morning! It’s peanut butter and jelly day.

I think I mentioned this last year too but if you’re not making a PB&J and then tossing that bad boy onto a panini press, I can’t help you.

And now, the news.

Birthright Citizenship

-via AP News, Constitution.gov, and Washington Post

Okay, now I actually am sick so this episode is going to be short but the big story is about the birthright citizenship case that went to the Supreme Court on Wednesday.

So, let’s talk about it… 

Birthright Citizenship is the 14th Amendment of the Constitution which reads: “All persons born or naturalized in the United States, and subject to the jurisdiction thereof, are citizens of the United States and of the State wherein they reside. No State shall make or enforce any law which shall abridge the privileges or immunities of citizens of the United States; nor shall any State deprive any person of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law; nor deny to any person within its jurisdiction the equal protection of the laws.”

Pretty basic. 

There are other sections of the 14th but that’s the part we’re focusing on for this case. 

In it is the Citizenship Clause: “All persons born or naturalized in the United States, and subject to the jurisdiction thereof, are citizens of the United States…”

We have this Amendment because of the ruling in the Dred Scott case, well known to be one of the worst Supreme Court rulings ever, because of its humanity, which held that Black people, whether they were enslaved or free, could not be US citizens. 

It also said Congress couldn’t ban slavery.

But the big one was about citizenship.

So the 14th, one of the Reconstruction Amendments (the 13th, which banned slavery except for as punishment for a crime, which is why our prison system is what it is and why Black codes were created, making things like not having a job (a lot of places didn’t want to hire Black people in the mid-1800s) an arrestable crime), the 14th, and the 15th, which says the right to vote cannot be denied based on race, color, or previous condition of servitude (which is why they created poll taxes and literacy tests and it took until 1965 for the ballot box to actually be accessible to almost all Americans).

But going back to the 14th Amendment… that was to rectify the Dred Scott ruling and make it so that Black people, whether they were enslaved or not, who were born here in America, could be citizens. 

But that’s not the language of the Amendment, is it? 

“All persons born or naturalized in the United States, and subject to the jurisdiction thereof, are citizens of the United States and of the State wherein they reside.”

There is no asterisk.

In the late 1800s, Congress passed the Chinese Exclusion Act which banned Chinese laborers from immigrating into America and made all Chinese immigrants ineligible for citizenship.  Why the Chinese?

Have you heard of, um… racism? Do you know about it? 

There wasn’t like one specific thing that happened, it just happened to be that a lot of Chinese immigrants came into the states during the California gold rush, as well as the railroad expansion, and they were willing to take low-paying jobs. So then instead of people trying to figure out why they couldn’t get a job themselves, they were like It’s the Chinese!

Sound familiar?

How about this tune? Once that started getting around town, people started being more racist, and then once political leaders started using anti-Chinese rhetoric in speeches and found that it got the crowds excited… that was the ballgame.

Again… history doesn’t repeat but it sure does rhyme.

So we’re in the late-1800s, I’m in my mid-30s, and anti-Chinese sentiment continues. Especially in California.

And along comes a Supreme Court case called United Stated v Wong Kim Ark.

Wong Kim Ark was born in San Francisco, but his parents weren’t citizens. He traveled out of the country and wasn’t allowed re-entry into America because the government said that since his parents weren’t citizens, he wasn’t either.

So this case went all the way up to the Supremes, and the case that was argued on Wednesday (now we’re back in 2026)… can someone born in America, to non-citizens, still be considered a citizen??... this case was already decided back in 1898.

Because the court decided back then: you are a citizen if you’re born here in America. Regardless of whether your parents are citizens.

It was applied broadly. 

Asked and answered my guy.

You know what I like? What makes me very proud of my state?

So in the Senate debates about this, a Senator from Pennsylvania said this: “Is the child of the Chinese immigrant in California a citizen? … If so, then I am opposed to this provision… We have declared that by law they shall not come here… and now we propose to make their children citizens.”

This dude’s from Pennsylvania and he’s name-dropping California. And California had the largest concentration of Chinese immigrants at that time, so this guy’s like – come on California. CERTAINLY you’re on my side here!

And the Senator from California simply said this: “The proposition before us… relates simply… to the children begotten of Chinese parents in California, and it is proposed to declare that they shall be citizens. I am in favor of doing so.”

Aka – yeah dude, I’m not dumb. I know what you’re trying to do. Don’t try it. Yes, even the children of Chinese parents… we want them to be citizens also. 

Because the language of the 14th is simple.

There is no asterisk.

This conversation has already been done.

But Trump’s saying the 14th needs to be relitigated because he doesn’t want US v Wong Kim Ark to count. 

That’s it. He just thinks it should only apply to formerly enslaved people.

And so he’s been trying to get rid of birthright citizenship for a hot little minute. 

Finally on Wednesday he had his day in court.

Well… to be fair… he’s had a lot of days in court. Remember how he’s done a TON of crimes?

But he had a day in court, as in… he literally showed up to the Supreme Court, which is the first time a president has ever done that before. 

He was joined by AG Pam Bondi (who, as a bit of legal hot goss, he has had conversations about replacing) and Commerce Secretary Howard Lutnick.

I actually think it’s cool he brought Bondi, so that she could see what real lawyers do. 

But he did it as an intimidation tactic, obviously.

The lawyer arguing for the government said: “We’re in a new world now … where 8 billion people are one plane ride away from having a child who’s a U.S. citizen.”

To which, Chief Justice Roberts replied: “Well, it’s a new world, but it’s the same Constitution.”

So while the argument that the government is making (that the 14th doesn’t apply to parents who are in the country illegally or on temporary visas for work, travel, school, or humanitarian reasons) is different than just “let’s go back to the beginning cause I wanna,” and the case isn’t a slam dunk, it does feel like the court overall appeared skeptical of the government’s position. 

Trump left the courthouse during the opposition’s arguments (god forbid the man hear one thing he doesn’t like!) and posted to his ironically titled Truth Social: “We are the only Country in the World STUPID enough to allow ‘Birthright’ Citizenship!”

We aren’t! It’s not a huge group that does it, but it includes Canada and that’s good enough company for me. 

But the point is – we aren’t the only country that does it!

Also, stupid is a bad word.

Two rumors flying around I want to address:

Could this be applied retroactively?

Trump says they won’t. It’s hard to imagine they won’t want to, for certain groups of people. There’s a high bar to pass, legally, to denaturalize people. It’s not off the table but it’s not like, the centerpiece. It’s, you know… the leaf of the table. Only to be put in once you’ve decided you’re expanding the table (but not for everyone! Not everyone’s invited! This dinner party’s serving boiled chicken, mashed potatoes without the skins, steamed broccoli from the bag, and a white dinner roll… the pepper’s too spicy, the garlic’s too fancy, and if Toby Keith isn’t on the radio and nothing on the radio!)

The other thing is, hey, I’m a citizen, I’m safe right?

To quote Justin Bieber, baby baby baby oh

If citizenship is based on a parent’s status, it could mean that if you give birth, you need to prove your citizenship before the baby’s citizenship can be determined.

So in the midst of bringing a whole human being into the world, you’d need to provide your birth certificate plus your parents’ citizenship documentation or their legal residency status at the time of your birth.

And okay, you make your birth plan. You add that to the list. And famously, every birth ever goes according to plan.

(Fun fact, I was born exactly on my due date AND it was an election day because I’ve been a lot of things, but I’ve never once been off brand.)

But what about – emergency births, and the last thing on your mind is your parents’ citizenship documentation? What about early delivery, and you’re out of town and away from all that paperwork? What about not having a solid relationship with your parents? What about complicated adoptions?

Now fear not, all you need is one parent to be a citizen.

Why? Because Trump has five kids, and four out of five of them were born before their moms were citizens. Tiffany is the only one whose mom was a citizen when she was born. 

I… hate it here. 

Here’s the bottom line. 

The ruling will come down in June or July. It seems unlikely, based on Roberts’ little comment, that they’ll side with the government. Either way, to be revisited then.

 Regardless, here’s the most important thing to remember… the President isn’t doing this for any other reason than this one singular thing, and it’s important to remember in times like this.

The president of the United States is a white supremacist. 

All these people Trump wants to fire? Notice that Stephen Miller is never on that list. It’s been said that Trump has never complained about Stephen Miller. He’s the only one he’s never complained about, not even privately.

And that guy is on the record as having said that if it were up to him, there would only be 100 million Americans and they would all look like him. Not sure how he even knows what he looks like, since he can’t see himself in the mirror, go out when the sun’s out, or be around crosses or garlic. 

But that’s Trump’s guy.

Trump has dined with nazis. He posted a video of our only Black president and the first lady as apes. He kick-started his political career saying President Obama wasn’t born in America. He talks about African countries as s-hole countries and wishes we could get more people from Norway. 

The president of the United States is a white supremacist and when I say from the ankles to the brain ain’t none of it working, believe me when I say… that heart? That hearts no good.

And that’s it. That’s the news.

I’m proud of panini presses.

And peanut butter and jellys. They get the job done.

But more than PB&Js. Because you, too, get the job done but in a truly exceptional way… I’m proud of you.